The atmosphere is so tense, if Elvis walked in, with a portion of chips... you could hear the vinegar sizzle on them.

When Alexander of Macedon was 33, he cried salt tears because there were no more worlds to conquer. Eric Bristow is only 27.

He's about as predictable as a Wasp on speed.

It's like trying to pin down a kangaroo on a trampoline.

He looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave.

The players are under so much duress, it's like duressic park out there!

There hasn't been this much excitement since the Romans fed the Christians to the Lions.

Darts players are probably a lot fitter than most footballers in overall body strength.

Well as giraffes say, you don't get no leaves unless you stick your neck out.

He's as cool as a prized marrow!

Look at the man go, its like trying to stop a water-buffalo with a pea-shooter.

That was like throwing three pickled onions into a thimble!

That's the greatest comeback since Lazarus.

Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint.