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Spike Milligan's Quotes

Spike Milligan profile photo

Born: 1918-04-16
Profession: Comedian
Nation: Irish
Biography of Spike Milligan

See the gallery for quotes by Spike Milligan. You can to use those 8 images of quotes as a desktop wallpapers.
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All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Tags: Chance, Happy, Money

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

Tags: Funny, Sure, Tree

My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.

Tags: Father, Funny, Influence

I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge.

Tags: Health, Keep, Old

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

Tags: God, Light, Said

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Tags: Bring, Happiness, Money

I thought I'd begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

Tags: Reading, Thought, Why

Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Tags: Occasion, Used

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs?

Tags: Quietly

I'm not afraid of dying I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Tags: Afraid, Dying, Happens

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order.

Tags: Order, Perfect, Working

Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy.

Tags: Enemy, Friends, Money

How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.

Tags: Army, Five, Funny

I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it.

Tags: Friendly, Hands, Prove

It's all in the mind, you know.

Tags: Mind

I can speak Esperanto like a native.

Tags: Funny, Native, Speak

For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string.

Tags: Hand, Piece, Ten

I spent many years laughing at Harry Secombe's singing until somebody told me that it wasn't a joke.

Tags: Joke, Somebody, Until

I'm a hero with coward's legs.

Tags: Coward, Hero, Legs

It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't.

Tags: Marriage, Perfect, She