After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.

I always try to balance the light with the heavy - a few tears of human spirit in with the sequins and the fringes.

Group conformity scares the pants off me because it's so often a prelude to cruelty towards anyone who doesn't want to - or can't - join the Big Parade.

Cherish forever what makes you unique, 'cuz you're really a yawn if it goes.

The worst part of success is to try finding someone who is happy for you.

I'm working my way toward divinity.

I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing.

I try not to drink too much because when I'm drunk, I bite.

I celebrate everyone's religious holidays. if it's good enough for the righteous, it's good enough for the self-righteous, I always say.

I wouldn't say I invented tacky, but I definitely brought it to its present high popularity.

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.

When it's three o'clock in New York, it's still 1938 in London.

I made a pact with myself a long time ago: Never watch anything stupider than you. It's helped me a lot.

I never know how much of what I say is true.

I sometimes think I should go back to school to learn French and music, but who would have me?

If I could be granted a wish, I'd shine in your eye like a jewel.

Rap is poetry set to music. But to me it's like a jackhammer.

Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week.