I'm entitled to my political opinions, and I get to vote because I'm an American.

I'm greedy and ambitious like everybody else.

I'm not an ascetic.

I'm not the guy to ask about politics. I'm a gag writer.

I've always been fascinated by the picaresque.

I've been alienating my public since I was 20 years old.

In a world we find terrifying, we ratify that which doesn't threaten us.

In Chicago, we love our crooks!

In practice we, in the world, must do business with each other.

It is not the constitutional prerogative of the Government to determine needs.

It's hard for a Jew of my generation, an American Jew, who is philo-Zionistic, not to romanticize Israel.

It's hard to write a good plot, it's very hard.

It's only words... unless they're true.

It's upsetting to be a man in our society.

Movies were never an art form, they were entertainment. It just evolved into an art form from there, and it's still evolving in different ways.

My greatest fear is that the audience will beat me to the punch line.

My idea of perfect happiness is a healthy family, peace between nations, and all the critics die.

Our job, as writers is to do our jobs.

People only speak to get something.

President Obama seems to understand the Constitution as a 'set of suggestions.'