A friend who is near and dear may in time become as useless as a relative.

To insure peace of mind ignore the rules and regulations.

Early to bed and early to rise is a bad rule for anyone who wishes to become acquainted with our most prominent and influential people.

Do unto yourself as your neighbors do unto themselves and look pleasant.

In the city a funeral is just an interruption of traffic; in the country it is a form of popular entertainment.

One man's poison ivy is another man's spinach.

After being Turned Down by numerous Publishers, he had decided to write for Posterity.

A man never feels more important than when he receives a telegram containing more than ten words.

Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry.

For parlor use, the vague generality is a life saver.

Nothing is improbable until it moves into past tense.

The time to enjoy a European trip is about three weeks after unpacking.

A good jolly is worth what you pay for it.

If it were not for the presents, an elopement would be preferable.

It is not time for mirth and laughter, the cold, gray dawn of the morning after.

Only the more rugged mortals should attempt to keep up with current literature.

She was short on intellect, but long on shape.