I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one.

I've spent lots of time in London, I studied in London, I like London. It's just not my home.

If an original piece of wardrobe came up from Star Wars, I'd probably spend a lot of money on it.

It can be tough as a jobbing actor.

My agent once said, 'You're not very driven.' And it's true. I'm not the type to ring up and go, 'Get me this part!'

My first holiday to San Francisco in 1998-99 was supposed to be a two-week vacation but I ended up staying five weeks and nearly didn't come home.

My forte is playing drunks down the ages. When my agent rings me about a role, I don't ask what the part is, but what century it's in.

My work's never been accepted by my family, but it's something I'll always carry on with.

Never try to be witty with U.S. airport officials. It's always lost on them and you'll find yourself being put back on the plane.

Oh, I'm terrible at travel.

The cheese board is my big treat at Christmas that I have to deny myself during the rest of year.

The idea of being on TV 24 hours a day and people seeing the real me... No.

There is something more spiritual to us than what we are on this earth, but how you access it I'm not sure.

There's a domino effect with certain things you say.

This autocue was obviously written for someone else and I've been brought in at the last minute.

Up North you are holding your own. Everyone considers themselves a comedian.

With stand-up you've just got that one chance. Audiences can be quite fickle.

You always hear people saying, 'I hope I'm not turning into my dad', but I'd be honoured if I became half as decent a bloke as he is.

You can sway an audience if you win the women over. The gentlemen will follow 'cause they can be so foolish like that at times, they are easily led.

You can't be a proper comic unless you've been out on stage and felt the fear.