Why was I feeling this way? Why was everything so bad in my life? I had no answers to these questions.

At this very moment, I don't feel I will be able to handle what's coming.

I am sorry for what has happened and I know that I need some help.

I broke down on Thursday, Nov. 3, and told Sheriff Howard Wells the truth. It wasn't easy, but after the truth was out, I felt like the world was lifted off my shoulders.

I don't get to go out but an hour a day.

I don't know why I did it.

I don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself for what I have done.

I dropped to the lowest point when I allowed my children to go down that ramp into the water without me.

I felt I couldn't be a good mom anymore, but I didn't want my children to grow up without a mom. I felt I had to end our lives to protect us from any grief or harm.

I felt like things could never get any worse.

I had never felt so lonely and so sad in my entire life.

I have prayed to God that he give me the strength to survive each day and to face those times in my life that will be extremely painful. I have put my total faith in God, and he will take care of me.

I have put my faith in the Lord, and I really believe He's taking care of them. They're too beautiful and precious that He's not going to let anything happen to them.

I knew from day one, the truth would prevail, but I was so scared I didn't know what to do.

I know now that it is going to be a tough and long road ahead of me.

I know that my life is going to be hell from here on.

I love my children. That will never change. I have prayed to them for forgiveness and hope that they will forgive me. I never meant to hurt them!!

I wanted to end my life so bad and was in my car ready to go down that ramp into the water, and I did go part way, but I stopped. I went again and stopped. I then got out of the car and stood by the car a nervous wreck.

I was in love with someone very much, but he didn't love me and never would. I had a very difficult time accepting that. But I had hurt him very much, and I could see why he could never love me.

It hurts real bad to have that protection barrier between parent and child.