When I was 18, I thought my father was pretty dumb. After a while when I got to be 21, I was amazed to find out how much he'd learned in three years.

I get a little behind during Lent, but it comes out even at Christmas.

A golf course is nothing but a pool room moved outdoors.

Bishops are like umpires. You have to have them to call the close decisions.

The joy of giving is indeed a pleasure, especially when you get rid of something you don't want.