I might get drunk one day and fall in love or fall over a hooker outside, and I would have consummated a relationship that I couldn't necessarily believe in.

I have two ambitions in life: one is to drink every pub dry, the other is to sleep with every woman on earth.

I have made many serious statements - I just can't remember any of them. I guess they mustn't have been very important.

I'm only drinking white wine because I'm on a diet and I don't eat.

You get so weak from eating pears that you fall down, and then they come and take you away on a stretcher.

I like the effect drink has on me.

I like to give my inhibitions a bath now and then.

I'm not as thrilled with myself as I used to be.

But the trouble is that when you drink it, you invariably meet other people drinking it.

I also use women as a sex object; maybe I'm kinky. However, I like to talk to them as well.

I do not live in the world of sobriety.

I don't like doing most things unless I can do them quite well.

I'm not a villain, I've never hurt anyone. I'm just a tawdry character who explodes now and again.

What's the point of staying sober?

Then you get into it, especially if you start talking about football, fighting and Muhammad Ali. Then the ladies get very bored and start delivering ultimatums.

Awe and respect are two different things.

Even though people say Richard Harris and I have been having a great feud, it's not true.

I believe my woman shouldn't work outside the home.

I do think a carpenter needs a good hammer to bang in the nail.

I'm really a pacifist.