Don't live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable.

Being a grownup means assuming responsibility for yourself, for your children, and - here's the big curve - for your parents.

The real reason for comedy is to hide the pain.

Because of Mozart, it's all over after the age of seven.

Sometimes I want to clean up my desk and go out and say, respect me, I'm a respectable grown-up, and other times I just want to jump into a paper bag and shake and bake myself to death.