Toilet Paper Quotes

I like getting toilet paper thrown at me.

Endangered forests are being slaughtered for toilet paper.

When somebody follows you 20 blocks to the pharmacy, where they watch you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed.

Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money.

I can say with a solid degree of authority that I am a selfish person. I spontaneously forget the names of more people than not, unless I want to make out with them. I will take the last square of toilet paper off the roll without thinking twice. I tip taxi drivers so poorly I'm amazed none of them have run over my foot while speeding off.