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Yakov Smirnoff's Quotes

Yakov Smirnoff profile photo

Born: 1951-01-24
Profession: Comedian
Nation: Russian
Biography of Yakov Smirnoff

See the gallery for quotes by Yakov Smirnoff. You can to use those 7 images of quotes as a desktop wallpapers.
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The ad in the paper said 'Big Sale. Last Week.' Why advertise? I already missed it. They're just rubbing it in.

Tags: Big, Said, Why

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington.

Tags: High, Reason, Texas

There's depth in my comedy.

Tags: Comedy, Depth

To my real estate agent, Chernobyl is a fixer-upper.

Tags: Agent, Estate, Real

We have a choice - we can both think and feel, using our heads and our hearts.

Tags: Both, Choice, Hearts

When the needs of one person are being met by the other, there is laughter.

Tags: Laughter, Met, Needs

When you like something, you find time to do it.

Tags: Time

As Americans after 9/11, we're much more united, together as a nation, and we got stronger, better, and more at peace. By peace, I mean the harmony you can feel in our united determination to fight these terrorists and killers.

Tags: Fight, Mean, Peace

When I lived in Soviet Union, and they would want to show us America at its worst, they would show us New York Stock Exchange floor, and they would say, 'That's how Americans relax.' They would say, 'Sure, those people have luxuries - like cars and houses and food. But would you want to end up like that?' And I would always say, 'You bet I would.'

Tags: America, End, Food

If love is the treasure, laughter is the key.

Tags: Key, Laughter, Love

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.

Tags: Everybody, Language, Laughter

I believe that love and laughter can only happen when one person takes the time to think about what would cause the other person to feel good.

Tags: Good, Love, Time

Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list.

Tags: Men, Waiting, Year

I believe there is a direct correlation between love and laughter.

Tags: Between, Laughter, Love

It's kind of bittersweet. The human spirit is not measured by the size of the act, but by the size of the heart.

Tags: Heart, Human, Spirit

I like American women. They do things sexually Russian girls never dream of doing - like showering.

Tags: American, Dream, Women

My father described this tall lady who stands in the middle of the New York harbor, holding high a torch to welcome people seeking freedom in America. I instantly fell in love.

Tags: Father, Freedom, Love

I fed my ego, but not my soul.

Tags: Ego, Fed, Soul

We may have forgotten how to feel. Nobody is teaching us how to live happily ever after, as we've heard in fairy tales.

Tags: After, May, Teacher

In Russia we only had two TV channels. Channel One was propaganda. Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: Turn back at once to Channel One.

Tags: Once, Turn, Tv

Balance is so important in our lives. In our busy world, we can give ourselves balance between thinking and feeling.

Tags: Busy, Feeling, Thinking

In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing.

Tags: Forget, Society, Today

I believe that laughter is a language of God and that we can all live happily ever laughter.

Tags: God, Language, Laughter
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Much more quotes by Yakov Smirnoff below the page.

We have been learning since we were children how to make money, buy things, build things. The whole education system is set up to teach us how to think, not to feel.

Tags: Education, Learning, Money

After the Soviet Union collapsed, people thought I wasn't funny anymore.

Tags: After, Funny, Thought

Americans think Soviets are so grim. I want them to see that they can smile.

Tags: Grim, Smile

Comedians are always hitting the topical notes that are on everybody's minds.

Tags: Everybody, Hitting, Minds

Falling in love is a chemical reaction. But it wears off in a year.

Tags: Love, Off, Year

I came to America to make it my home, and I did.

Tags: America, Home

If you have something important to say, Broadway and New York are great places to say it.

Tags: Great, Places, York

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

Tags: Between, Distance, Laughter

Men and women are immigrants in each other's worlds.

Tags: Men, Women, Worlds

Never having alone time is real tough on people.

Tags: Alone, Real, Time

People in Tulsa are totally friendly; the crowds are very nice.

Tags: Friendly, Nice, Totally
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