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Funny Quotes

See the gallery for tag and special word "Funny". You can to use those 8 images of quotes as a desktop wallpapers.
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It's funny because a lot of people that know me as a dancer, don't know that I'm a singer, and a lot of people that know I can sing don't know I can dance. And so, I feel like at some point I have to show them both and really be able to display it and showcase it, and put that out there.

Tags: Dance, Put  ✍ Author: Naima Adedapo

If I can't see the humor in it, how am I going to be funny?

Tags: Humor  ✍ Author: Casey Affleck

What I fell in love with as a child was 'My Fair Lady,' 'Funny Face,' 'American in Paris,' and 'Singin' in the Rain.' Just perfect movies to me and I was dancing. I started ballet when I was three. And I fell in love with those movies and fell in love with Audrey Hepburn and Leslie Caron.

Tags: Love, Movies  ✍ Author: Dianna Agron

I would love to write a mystery - a romantic, funny mystery.

Tags: Love, Romantic  ✍ Author: Cecelia Ahern

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Tags: Love, Sound  ✍ Author: Douglas Adams

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Tags: Chess, Team  ✍ Author: Woody Allen

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Tags: Change, Life  ✍ Author: Woody Allen

If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job.

Tags: Done, Job  ✍ Author: Woody Allen

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Tags: Anyone, Choice  ✍ Author: Woody Allen

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Tags: Afraid, Death  ✍ Author: Woody Allen

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

Tags: Life, Someone  ✍ Author: Woody Allen

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Tags: Annoyance, Great  ✍ Author: Isaac Asimov

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'

Tags: Hear, Science  ✍ Author: Isaac Asimov

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.

Tags: Help, Lord  ✍ Author: Isaac Asimov

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.

Tags: Change, Facts  ✍ Author: Albert Einstein

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

Tags: Girl, Nice  ✍ Author: Albert Einstein

All generalizations are false, including this one.

Tags: False, Including  ✍ Author: Mark Twain

By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.

Tags: Mean, Trying  ✍ Author: Mark Twain

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Tags: Heaven, Hell  ✍ Author: Mark Twain

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Tags: Facts, Please  ✍ Author: Mark Twain

Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.

Tags: Questions, Statement  ✍ Author: Ronald Reagan

One picture is worth 1,000 denials.

Tags: Picture, Worth  ✍ Author: Ronald Reagan

Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours.

Tags: Depression, Job  ✍ Author: Ronald Reagan

I would do it today because the thing that appealed to me was not necessarily the mechanics of the robot, but it was his personality and how funny and charming he was.

Tags: Charming, Today  ✍ Author: John Badham

Wikipedia is just an incredible thing. It is fact-encirclingly huge, and it is idiosyncratic, careful, messy, funny, shocking and full of simmering controversies - and it is free, and it is fast.

Tags: Free, Full  ✍ Author: Nicholson Baker
Much more quotes of "Funny" below the page.

It's funny: I've been very successful and done a lot of films, and I don't really have an agent - I don't really pursue jobs, I let people come to me.

Tags: Done, Successful  ✍ Author: Rick Baker

It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain.

Tags: Artists, Pain  ✍ Author: Rick Baker

It's funny, in literature no one ever goes to the lavatory.

Tags: Goes, Literature  ✍ Author: Stephen Baker

One longs to be funny, to make people laugh. Laughter is such a sign of approval, isn't it?

Tags: Laugh, Laughter  ✍ Author: Stephen Baker

I'm obsessive about the kind of melodrama of getting through the days and trying to make them good and funny and a happy experience. But my feeling towards the fans is that they delivered me from darkness.

Tags: Experience, Good  ✍ Author: Stephen Baker

The one thing that disturbs me about Alec is that people don't realize that he's really funny.

Tags: Disturbs, Realize  ✍ Author: Daniel Baldwin

Don't get me wrong, there are sometimes if I go and see a really funny comedy, that I wished I had smoked a joint. I'll be honest with you. That's the truth.

Tags: Sometimes, Truth  ✍ Author: Stephen Baldwin

I'm not funny. What I am is brave.

Tags: Brave  ✍ Author: Lucille Ball

You see much more of your children once they leave home.

Tags: Children, Home  ✍ Author: Lucille Ball

If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.

Tags: Life, Mistakes  ✍ Author: Tallulah Bankhead

When you live in a leading lady's body, which I do, you have to constantly prove that you are funny.

Tags: Body, Lady  ✍ Author: Elizabeth Banks

I don't mean to be funny.

Tags: Mean  ✍ Author: Yogi Berra

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

Tags: Anymore, Worth  ✍ Author: Yogi Berra

I never said most of the things I said.

Tags: Said  ✍ Author: Yogi Berra

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

Tags: Cars, Women  ✍ Author: Erma Bombeck

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Tags: Diet, Friend  ✍ Author: Erma Bombeck

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Tags: Gift, Giving  ✍ Author: Erma Bombeck

Never have more children than you have car windows.

Tags: Car, Children  ✍ Author: Erma Bombeck

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

Tags: Cheap, Expensive  ✍ Author: Warren Buffett

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.

Tags: Children, Parents  ✍ Author: Samuel Butler

We were a very funny family. Humour was the tool with which my brother and I tried to get attention. We were always trying to be the funniest.

Tags: Family, Trying  ✍ Author: Meg Cabot

There's a story everywhere. Being bored to death someplace is basically a funny proposition. What you have to watch out for is you don't write a boring story about a boring place.

Tags: Boring, Death  ✍ Author: James Cagney

Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons.

Tags: Happen, Movies  ✍ Author: Michael Caine

Scream was great for what it was. For a horror film, it was intelligent, it was funny, it took a laugh at itself.

Tags: Great, Laugh  ✍ Author: Neve Campbell

To be able to make a good living in a challenging medium like soap operas is great. The best is that I get to act and am rewarded for it. And the people I work with are great. Funny, intelligent, hard working. They're all great to be around.

Tags: Good, Work  ✍ Author: David Canary

It's just something that's sort of funny, sort of not.

 ✍ Author: Joseph Cannon

Mariah is a beautiful and talented person, and I've had a crush on her for as long as I can remember. Every day, my respect for Mariah continues to grow higher. She's a caring, warm and funny person. People have no idea how funny she is! I feel like I've always known she was my forever love.

Tags: Love, Respect  ✍ Author: Nick Cannon

I remember when I took the role on E.R., I thought, 'I haven't really been able to play a working class woman. I've played girls, I've played funny, but I haven't played a working class woman. That sounds like something I'd like to do.'

Tags: Thought, Woman  ✍ Author: Linda Cardellini

I've always enjoyed watching characters that aren't aware that they're doing anything funny. And I think that inherently makes them funnier.

Tags: Characters, Makes  ✍ Author: Steve Carell

You know, what's funny to one person is not at all to someone else.

Tags: Else, Someone  ✍ Author: Steve Carell

I had a friend who, after 25 years of marriage, found himself trying to date again, and it was completely different. Everything had changed, and he had to reacquaint himself. It was funny even talking to him about it. For someone who has been out of the loop, it's a different world.

Tags: Marriage, Someone  ✍ Author: Steve Carell

I think anyone loves to play a character that is either evil to a certain extent or has a real definable character flaw. Those are always really fun, and, I think, funny.

Tags: Character, Fun  ✍ Author: Steve Carell

My wife is way funnier than I am. As much as I don't really feel I share a sense of humour with my family, I definitely share one with her - we find the same things funny.

Tags: Family, Wife  ✍ Author: Steve Carell

You never saw Peter Sellers the actor trying to make you laugh. All he was doing was the character. What I'm saying is that I don't think you should know you're in a movie. I don't like it when actors are winking at the audience and saying, 'Right, isn't this funny? Are you with me?'

Tags: Character, Saying  ✍ Author: Steve Carell

I think when someone who's known for doing drama does a comedy but just tries to be funny, that's a mistake.

Tags: Comedy, Someone  ✍ Author: Steve Carell

Nothing's funny about someone who's successful.

Tags: Someone, Successful  ✍ Author: Drew Carey

TV is easier: it's all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over.

Tags: Show, Win  ✍ Author: Drew Carey

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

Tags: Left, Speaks  ✍ Author: George Carlin

Weather forecast for tonight: dark.

Tags: Dark, Weather  ✍ Author: George Carlin

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Tags: Die, Soul  ✍ Author: George Carlin

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Tags: Lightning, Organized  ✍ Author: George Carlin

I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny.

Tags: Parents, Stupid  ✍ Author: Jim Carrey

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Tags: Great, Woman  ✍ Author: Jim Carrey

It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified.

Tags: Laugh, Why  ✍ Author: Gilbert K. Chesterton

I have never been hurt by what I have not said.

Tags: Hurt, Said  ✍ Author: Calvin Coolidge

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

Tags: Stupid, Wise  ✍ Author: Bill Cosby

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

Tags: Child, End  ✍ Author: Bill Cosby

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

Tags: God, Humor  ✍ Author: Bill Cosby

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

Tags: Love, Pretending  ✍ Author: Bill Cosby

I remember certain people in the audience laughing and I wanted to ask: 'What are you laughing at? This isn't funny.' Now I realize that laughter can come from insecurity. They don't know how they should be feeling.

Tags: Insecurity, Laughter  ✍ Author: Jim Dale

It's funny with jeans now, because if they don't feel like a pair of sweatpants, I don't have patience for them anymore! I think I'm becoming increasingly lazy.

Tags: Lazy, Patience  ✍ Author: Claire Danes

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Tags: Fat, Found  ✍ Author: Rodney Dangerfield

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

Tags: Her, Wife  ✍ Author: Rodney Dangerfield

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

Tags: Family, Found  ✍ Author: Rodney Dangerfield

The funny thing is, the music that I'm writing now is probably some of the most cutting edge we've ever done. The music that I'm thinking about putting on our next album.

Tags: Music, Writing  ✍ Author: Charlie Daniels

And regardless of the fact that in this country, certainly in the arts, we treat comedy as a second-class citizen, I've never thought of it that way. I've always thought it to be important. The last time I looked, the Greeks were holding up two masks. I've always thought of it not only as having equal value, but as the craft of it, being funny.

Tags: Thought, Time  ✍ Author: Jeff Daniels

I made the choice long ago to write about real life. And life is both serious and funny.

Tags: Life, Real  ✍ Author: Paula Danziger

The books are funny and sad, and that's what people respond to.

Tags: Books, Sad  ✍ Author: Paula Danziger

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny.

Tags: Mind, Whole  ✍ Author: Bobby Darin

I think 'Breaking Bad' is brilliant. Good drama in the U.S. is also so funny and blurs the line between light and dark.

Tags: Bad, Good  ✍ Author: Arthur Darvill

What has been happening more lately - of course, I also put in my bio, I say I do the voice of Goliath, but some people go - you know, I say something, and it's a funny thing when you work in this business, people will talk out loud in front of you like you're not there.

Tags: Business, Work  ✍ Author: Keith David

There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny.

Tags: Might, Talk  ✍ Author: Larry David

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'

Tags: Birthday, Wife  ✍ Author: Larry David

You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid.

Tags: Discover, Kid  ✍ Author: Larry David

I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.

Tags: Bad, Good  ✍ Author: Larry David

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

Tags: Feeling, Truth  ✍ Author: Larry David

I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.

Tags: Hair, Kiss  ✍ Author: Bette Davis

Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.

Tags: Love, Marriage  ✍ Author: Bette Davis

Being funny, it turns out, is like being a bank. It's a confidence trick. As long as everyone believes in you, you are fine.

Tags: Confidence, Everyone  ✍ Author: Evan Davis

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.

Tags: Brains, Means  ✍ Author: Richard Dawkins

I had everything I'd hoped for, but I wasn't being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn't like me for being... me.

Tags: Honest, Strange  ✍ Author: Ellen DeGeneres

No matter how popular you are as a stand-up - you can go out and fill a 10,000-seat arena and be smart and funny - it's delicate to host an awards show and know where your place is and know that it's not about you, that it's about the people who are nominated, and respect that, but at the same time have your moment to show them who you are.

Tags: Respect, Time  ✍ Author: Ellen DeGeneres

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

Tags: Hell, She  ✍ Author: Ellen DeGeneres

Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major way. So I want to be an example that you can be funny and be kind, and make people laugh without hurting somebody else's feelings.

Tags: Feelings, Laugh  ✍ Author: Ellen DeGeneres

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant.

Tags: Ask, Child  ✍ Author: Ellen DeGeneres

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