Elayne Boosler's Profile
Brief about Elayne Boosler: By info that we know Elayne Boosler was born at 1952-08-18. And also Elayne Boosler is American Comedian.Elayne Boosler's quotation" section for more.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.Tags: Door, Funny, Matter
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.Tags: Men, Thinking, Women
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.Tags: Funny, Tell, Wrong
I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.'Tags: Computers, History, Peace
The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.Tags: Good, Jesus, Mom
I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.Tags: Alone, Men, Someone
My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.Tags: Lost, Men, Times
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me.Tags: Married, Tell, Wrong
Stand-up is like a movie every night. You write it, direct it, produce it, the audience votes, and you go home. There's nothing more satisfying.Tags: Home, Night, Write
Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?Tags: Giving, Great, Money
You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot.Tags: Street, Walking, Woman
I am thankful that geniuses and artists and good people, no matter how hard it is, will eventually be recognized. I am doubly thankful that also goes for idiots.Tags: Good, Hard, Thankful
A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how long you will live. No surprise, turning first to the Comics Pages prolongs your life.Tags: Last, Life, Study
I am thankful I was born in America, although if I gain any more weight the burqa thing may start to seem like a good idea to me. See? Another plus about America, you can always find some food.Tags: Food, Good, Thankful
I've thought for the last decade or so, the only actual place raw truth was seeping through in newspapers was on the Comics Pages. They were able to pull off intelligent social comment, pure truths not found elsewhere in the news pages, and had the ability to make it all funny, entertaining, and pertinent.Tags: Funny, Thought, Truth
- A. Bartlett Giamatti
- A. E. Housman
- A. E. van Vogt
- A. J. Foyt
- A. J. Liebling
- A. J. McLean
- A. J. Muste
- A. N. Wilson
- A. P. Herbert
- A. S. Byatt
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