The idea of licking stamps seemed great fun for me.

Every job I've ever gotten has been an accident. All the jobs I actually go after, I don't get.

I think I have a dark view of the world. I have to make everything funny, otherwise it all seems so sad.

Your own experience keeps taking you towards something. My book adds the hope that it's a better something.

I had a friend whose family had dinner together. The mother would tuck you in at night and make breakfast in the morning. They even had a spare bike for a friend. It just seemed so amazing to me.

My mother tells this story that when I first went to school, I thought I was going to help the teachers. I didn't realise I was going to get educated.

We had two rules growing up in my house: If you're going to take a shower, do it with whomever you're dating so you don't waste water; and if you buy one for yourself, buy six, because everybody's going to want one.

Gag me with a spoon!

How strange, when your father's wearing women's clothes and platform shoes, that a pair of loafers looks incredible.

I didn't have any concept of age or authority. I remember realising, Oh, the world has rules and we don't.

I don't want to lose my name because that's how I know myself. There is a legacy here.

I grew up with too much freedom. You can't define yourself.

I have a tree man coming to trim the jacaranda in my front garden.

I like to think of myself as a New Yorker, which is pathetic.

I made enough money to buy a house. That's crazy, but fame proved ephemeral.

I peaked early. I was told I'd missed my boat.

I should just drive around this city and take photos of all the buildings I've been humiliated in.

I spent most of my life locked in my bedroom, miserable about my raging acne.

I would think: Stay close to the implants! They must know something because they keep getting asked backstage!

I'm totally convinced I can write the perfect pop song.