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Jackie Mason's Quotes

Jackie Mason profile photo

Born: 1931-06-09
Profession: Comedian
Nation: American
Biography of Jackie Mason

See the gallery for quotes by Jackie Mason. You can to use those 8 images of quotes as a desktop wallpapers.
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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Tags: America, Married, Men

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.

Tags: Enough, Life, Money

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?

Tags: Hear, Playing, Wanted

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

Tags: Healthy, Question, Sickness

I don't believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It's funny because it's ridiculous and it's ridiculous for different reasons at different times.

Tags: Funny, Times, Why

I can't predict the future and I don't have respect for people who try to.

Tags: Future, Respect, Try

I have nothing but love in my heart and everything I say is just an instrument for laughs.

Tags: Heart, Instrument, Love

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

Tags: Englishman, Run, Truck

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.

Tags: Industry, Life, Support

My comedy doesn't come from any calculations and studies.

Tags: Comedy, Studies

Predictions are preposterous.

Tags: Art, Comedy, Great

I've been watching politics for 35 or 40 years and you just never know. You can have one person win the Iowa caucus and then the whole picture changes ten minutes later. The same thing can happen again after New Hampshire. I have no idea what's going to happen with our country in the future.

Tags: Future, Politics, Win

My material is as new as anything on the dinner table. What difference does it make if I'm 70 or if I'm 20? The audience knows they aren't getting any old stories from me.

Tags: Difference, Getting, Old

As every thread of gold is valuable, so is every moment of time.

Tags: Moment, Time, Valuable

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Jackie Mason's quote #7