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Milton Berle's Quotes

Milton Berle profile photo

Born: 1908-07-12
Profession: Comedian
Nation: American
Biography of Milton Berle

See the gallery for quotes by Milton Berle. You can to use those 8 images of quotes as a desktop wallpapers.
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You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

Tags: Congress, Funny, Him

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

Tags: Funny, Group, Hours

I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.

Tags: Cannot, Far, Rather

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

Tags: Build, Door, Inspirational

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Tags: Instant, Laughter, Vacation

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Tags: Hands, Mothers, Works

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Tags: After, Experience, Funny

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

Tags: Him, Television, Watching

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.

Tags: Laugh

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.

Tags: Disgrace, Poverty, Terribly

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

Tags: Bread, Goes, White

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?

Tags: Income, Says, Tax

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.

Tags: Husband, Sixth, Supposed

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.

Tags: Company, Shy, Why

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Milton Berle's quote #7