People did not even then like to eat dirt, if they could see it.

It frequently happens that two persons, reasoning right on a mechanical subject, think alike and invent the same thing without any communication with each other.

A problem shared is attention gained.

Health food shops can make people feel very important; it's like a brand new religion with people trying to convert you to quinoa.

I don't know if I was funny as a child, though I always thought my parents really enjoyed listening to me sing.

I knew 'Be Our Guest' would be performed on a set and in costume, but anyone with a history in Theatre In Education will know that can mean anything.

I told the ambulance men the wrong blood type for my ex, so he knows what rejection feels like.

I was a precocious child.

The strangest thing about writing a sitcom, is never knowing if it will become anything but words on a page.

If you had of told me age 10 that in 19 years time I would be on a stage in Salford performing with Les Dennis in a sitcom I had written, I would have believed you.