This limited theatrical release was a nice little bonus that I never expected.

Why should I be feeling tension? It's The Daily Show.

You're encouraged to pitch your own story. That way, you'll have more control over what you do.

I remember interviewing someone I actually felt bad for, and therefore didn't want to take an ironic stance against him. It actually turned out to be a really funny piece.

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you're really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.

The first year or so on The Daily Show is pretty intense in terms of travel. You're going to the worst places in the country, talking to the craziest people in the world.

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

The show is a satire, which gives us freedom to do anything we want. Satire is the magic word that wipes away any culpability. The media is jealous of this freedom.

Apparently it's cool to watch The Daily Show.

I've got like a week and a half left, all bets are off.

Wow. I am really pretentious.

Ethanol is, in its pure form, just as much of a sham as oil.

I actually got the part. And I thought, Well, I'll do it for a while. I'll just quit if it's stupid.

I didn't hang any pictures in my office for a year because I thought that I would be jinxing myself and have to take them down the next day.

I didn't really feel 100 percent comfortable until we started working on the 2004 election.

I don't feel like I even need to contribute.

I don't know how this company got the name National Shakespeare Company, because it was literally like retards employing retards.

I get all of my comedy from CNN.

I have to stay true to myself.

I just want to do cool stuff.