Karl Kraus's Quotes

The trouble with Germans is not that they fire shells, but that they engrave them with quotations from Kant.

There are people who can never forgive a beggar for their not having given him anything.

There is no more unfortunate creature under the sun than a fetishist who yearns for a woman's shoe and has to settle for the whole woman.

When a man is treated like a beast, he says, 'After all, I'm human.' When he behaves like a beast, he says 'After all, I'm only human.'

Journalist: a person without any ideas but with an ability to express them; a writer whose skill is improved by a deadline: the more time he has, the worse he writes.

Culture is the tacit agreement to let the means of subsistence disappear behind the purpose of existence. Civilization is the subordination of the latter to the former.

Corruption is worse than prostitution. The latter might endanger the morals of an individual, the former invariably endangers the morals of the entire country.

Jealousy is a dog's bark which attracts thieves.

You'd be surprised how hard it can often be to translate an action into an idea.

Education is a crutch with which the foolish attack the wise to prove that they are not idiots.

How is the world ruled and led to war? Diplomats lie to journalists and believe these lies when they see them in print.

Sexuality poorly repressed unsettles some families; well repressed, it unsettles the whole world.

Stupidity is an elemental force for which no earthquake is a match.

Christian morality prefers remorse to precede lust, and then lust not to follow.

Experiences are savings which a miser puts aside. Wisdom is an inheritance which a wastrel cannot exhaust.

Virginity is the ideal of those who want to deflower.

If the reporter has killed our imagination with his truth, he threatens our life with his lies.

Morality is a venereal disease. Its primary stage is called virtue; its secondary stage, boredom; its tertiary stage, syphilis.

My unconscious knows more about the consciousness of the psychologist than his consciousness knows about my unconscious.

A child learns to discard his ideals, whereas a grown-up never wears out his short pants.

A woman who cannot be ugly is not beautiful.

A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer.

Children play soldier. That makes sense. But why do soldiers play children?

Democracy means the opportunity to be everyone's slave.

I don't like to meddle in my private affairs.

No ideas and the ability to express them - that's a journalist.

Psychoanalysis is that mental illness for which it regards itself as therapy.

Scandal begins when the police put a stop to it.

To me all men are equal: there are jackasses everywhere, and I have the same contempt for them all.

A fine world in which man reproaches woman with fulfilling his heart's desire!

An idea's birth is legitimate if one has the feeling that one is catching oneself plagiarizing oneself.