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Laurence J. Peter's Quotes

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Born: 1919-09-16
Profession: Writer
Nation: Canadian
Biography of Laurence J. Peter

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Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Tags: Beauty, Eye, Truth

America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.

Tags: America, Country, Getting

The best intelligence test is what we do with our leisure.

Tags: Best, Leisure, Test

A censor is an expert in cutting remarks. A censor is a man who knows more than he thinks you ought to.

Tags: Expert, Knows, Thinks

Democracy is a process by which people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.

Tags: Blame, Democracy, Free

There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.

Tags: Admit, Kinds, Rest

Nobody can be perfect unless he admits his faults, but if he has faults how can he be perfect?

Tags: Nobody, Perfect, Unless

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water. Don't let yourself indulge in vain wishes.

Tags: Sea, Water, Yourself

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Tags: Chance, Everyone, Means

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.

Tags: Correct, Makes, Three

Fortune knocks but once, but misfortune has much more patience.

Tags: Fortune, Once, Patience

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.

Tags: Correct, Faults, Parents

Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.

Tags: Education, Grade, Higher

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.

Tags: Everyone, Level, Rises

The great question is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with failure.

Tags: Failure, Great, Question

A man convinced against his will is not convinced.

Tags: Against, Convinced

As a matter of fact is an expression that precedes many an expression that isn't.

Tags: Expression, Fact, Matter

Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to be appointed to do the work.

Tags: Become, Nowadays, Work

If you don't know where you're going, you will probably end up somewhere else.

Tags: Else, End, Somewhere

Make three correct guesses consecutively and you will establish a reputation as an expert.

Tags: Correct, Reputation, Three
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Men now monopolize the upper levels... depriving women of their rightful share of opportunities for incompetence.

Tags: Men, Share, Women

Slump, and the world slumps with you. Push, and you push alone.

Tags: Alone, Push, Slump

The man who says he is willing to meet you halfway is usually a poor judge of distance.

Tags: Judge, Meet, Poor

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Tags: Funny, Three, Try

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.

Tags: Fool, Friendship, Yourself

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

Tags: Funny, Knows, Until

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Tags: Art, Forgetting, Funny

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Tags: Business, Today, Tomorrow

Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.

Tags: Anger, Angry, Best

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not yet reached their level of incompetence.

Tags: Employees, Level, Work

It's better to have loved and lost than to have to do forty pounds of laundry a week.

Tags: Lost, Loved

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.

Tags: American, Child, Funny

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?

Tags: Clean, Mind, Sign

America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation.

Tags: America, Avoid, Land

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

Tags: Depend, Miracles

The seaman tells stories of winds, the ploughman of bulls; the soldier details his wounds, the shepherd his sheep.

Tags: Seaman, Soldier, Stories

Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car.

Tags: Car, Christian, Makes

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

Tags: Complex, Informed, Problems

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

Tags: Parents, Teen, Wondering

Early to bed, early to rise, work like hell, and advertise.

Tags: Hell, Rise, Work

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

Tags: Mother, Nature, Time

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

Tags: Danger, Doubt, Run

Against logic there is no armor like ignorance.

Tags: Against, Ignorance, Logic

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways when he crosses the street.

Tags: Both, Looks, Ways

An intelligence test sometimes shows a man how smart he would have been not to have taken it.

Tags: Smart, Sometimes, Taken

In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence.

Tags: Employee, Level, Rise

Bureaucracy defends the status quo long past the time when the quo has lost its status.

Tags: Lost, Past, Time

America's wealth comes from the efforts of people striving for success. Take away their incentive with badmouthing success and you take away the wealth that helps us take care of the needy.

Tags: America, Care, Success

It seems like people don't learn from the past.

Tags: Learn, Past, Seems

I grew up in a socialist country. And I have seen what that does to people. There is no hope, no freedom. No pride in achievement.

Tags: Country, Freedom, Hope

I paid $1.9 billion in taxes in my lifetime.

Tags: Lifetime, Paid, Taxes

My charitable donations go to educational efforts, such as Teach for America, Vanderbilt University, Berkshire School.

Tags: America, School, Teach

Never bend the rules. You bend the rules a little bit and then it's a slippery slope.

Tags: Bend, Bit, Rules

Some traders still think that a computer could not trade as well as they can.

Tags: Computer, Trade, Traders

The rich support the poor primarily via taxes.

Tags: Poor, Rich, Support

Yes, in socialism the rich will be poorer - but the poor will also be poorer. People will lose interest in really working hard and creating jobs.

Tags: Hard, Rich, Working

You win a few, you lose a few.

Tags: Few, Lose, Win

I had an extremely boring time doing 20 to 30 trades a day while everyone was talking about baseball or basketball. So I stood there fantasizing about a device that could do the same thing I was doing.

Tags: Baseball, Basketball, Time

I see no point in exchanging something that I understand, know, love and think will have a great future for something else that I know much less about.

Tags: Future, Great, Love
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