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Don Rickles's Quotes

Don Rickles profile photo

Born: 1926-05-08
Profession: Comedian
Nation: American
Biography of Don Rickles

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I was a mother's boy.

Tags: Boy, Mother

I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.

Tags: Book, Said, Tired

Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.

Tags: Humor, Political, Politics

Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.

Tags: Cares, Dummy, Phones

Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.

Tags: Funny

The old days were the old days. And they were great days. But now is now.

Tags: Days, Great, Old

To me, the stand up part in my life is great. I know I can do that. When I get an acting chance, I'm really thrilled.

Tags: Acting, Great, Life

To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.

Tags: Knowledge, Started, Trying

Well, I call myself an actor. I always wanted to be one.

Tags: Actor, Call, Wanted

When I'm onstage, I'm acting.

Tags: Acting

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.

Tags: Attitude, Funny

You lose your energy, you lose that excitement and it gets the audience up.

Tags: Energy, Excitement, Lose

I mean, in my - and I'm not trying to do spilled milk, but in those days it was a little - I think it was much tougher, because you got an image, and you were in a saloon. And it was tough to come out of a saloon and to get in films, and to maintain an image, you know.

Tags: Mean, Tough, Trying

I'd like to think my performance is today. I never try to - it's so, as you know, watching me, I have a beginning, middle and ending. But every night the show changes and I relate to an audience and I relate to the young people.

Tags: Night, Today, Try

In our day we went from - we went into saloons. We couldn't cross over like you can today, get a television series and all of a sudden you're a major movie star, you know.

Tags: Movie, Star, Today

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

Tags: Clothes, Funny, Wonder

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

Tags: Alone, Everyone, Yourself

They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities.

Tags: Fun, Here, Hurt

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.

Tags: Attitude, Humor, Study

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

Tags: Doctor, Took, Walk

I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.

Tags: Protect, Shy, Shyness

Struggling is hard because you never know what's at the end of the tunnel.

Tags: End, Hard, Struggling

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

Tags: Kiss, Mind, Room

Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.

Tags: Married, State, Trying

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.

Tags: Cannot, Joke, Tell

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.

Tags: Business, Life, Show
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You throw your best punch, otherwise don't do it.

Tags: Best, Punch, Throw

Funny is funny.

Tags: Funny

I have to have energy because I have a lot of expenses. A couple of cars, couple of dogs and a big estate.

Tags: Big, Cars, Energy

I never went out looking for glory.

Tags: Glory, Looking

I was always the guy - out of insecurities, I was always making fun, even as a kid.

Tags: Fun, Guy, Making

It takes many years to be a great comedian.

Tags: Comedian, Great, Takes

My whole act is off the top of my head.

Tags: Act, Off, Whole

Everything I've ever done in my whole career, people might not know, I've never written anything down on paper.

Tags: Career, Done, Whole

I do situations and make fun of authority and life.

Tags: Authority, Fun, Life

I have a problem, if the light goes on on TV and it blinks midnight, I don't know how to fix it.

Tags: Goes, Light, Problem

I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym.

Tags: Gym, Jokes, Sell

I have no idea what I'm going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny.

Tags: Funny, Give, Idea

I still have drive, but everything is relative.

Tags: Drive, Relative

I told jokes badly.

Tags: Badly, Jokes