Don Rickles's Quotes

I was a mother's boy.

I was sitting in the toilet and I was by myself. I was tired of playing with the roller, so I said I'd better write a book.

Political correctness? In my humor, I never talk about politics. I was never much into all that.

Smartphones. Who cares? Smartphones. I only have dummy phones.

Some people say funny things, but I say things funny.

The old days were the old days. And they were great days. But now is now.

To me, the stand up part in my life is great. I know I can do that. When I get an acting chance, I'm really thrilled.

To my knowledge, I was the first guy really to do what I do. And then later on different comedians started trying doing it.

Well, I call myself an actor. I always wanted to be one.

When I'm onstage, I'm acting.

You know what's funny to me? Attitude.

You lose your energy, you lose that excitement and it gets the audience up.

I mean, in my - and I'm not trying to do spilled milk, but in those days it was a little - I think it was much tougher, because you got an image, and you were in a saloon. And it was tough to come out of a saloon and to get in films, and to maintain an image, you know.

I'd like to think my performance is today. I never try to - it's so, as you know, watching me, I have a beginning, middle and ending. But every night the show changes and I relate to an audience and I relate to the young people.

In our day we went from - we went into saloons. We couldn't cross over like you can today, get a television series and all of a sudden you're a major movie star, you know.

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

They always use the word 'insult' with me, but I don't hurt anybody. I wouldn't be sitting here if I did. I make fun of everybody and exaggerate all our insecurities.

You can't study comedy; it's within you. It's a personality. My humor is an attitude.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

I'm very shy so I became very outgoing to protect my shyness.

Struggling is hard because you never know what's at the end of the tunnel.

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

Eddie Fisher married to Elizabeth Taylor is like me trying to wash the Empire State Building with a bar of soap.

I cannot tell a joke. But I can do a situation, that it becomes a joke.

Show business is my life. When I was a kid I sold insurance, but nobody laughed.