With Clinton, there's no question that I would have made fun of his out-and-out lying. But he's also a good friend.

I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I will shake their hand. That kind of personal touch is all they're really seeking.

I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington.

Once I got married and had kids, I moved away from romantic roles, because it seemed wrong to have my 3-year-old wondering why Daddy was kissing someone else.

The first thing that happens is that you're overwhelmed by so much attention. It's just so unnatural. Only people who've been in that position can realize what it's like. I mean, you have to be there.

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.

All my children inherited perfect pitch.

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

We never could have performed live for an hour and a half every week if we were doing drugs.

I don't know if my looks will ever get any better, but my pratfalls sure won't.

I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.

I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having an attitude problem.

You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts.

Anyone who wants to run has to be a Jimmy Swaggart, minus the default.

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.

I have three daughters. I wanted them to be raised where there are real seasons and where everyone their age wasn't trying to get into movies.

I just went into this business for laughs. I guess I don't mind being an actor so much now.

I learned a lot about handling fans from established stars.

I watched every single Charlie Chaplin film.

I'm Chevy Chase, and you're not.