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Phyllis Diller's Profile

Brief about Phyllis Diller: By info that we know Phyllis Diller was born at 1917-07-17. And also Phyllis Diller is American Comedian.

Some Phyllis Diller's quotes. Goto "Phyllis Diller's quotation" section for more.

I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.

Tags: Behind, Eighteen, Ironing

My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.

Tags: Justice

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.

Tags: Advice, Children, Work

You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.

Tags: Blood, Old, Type

His finest hour lasted a minute and a half.

Tags: Half, Hour, Minute

I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.

Tags: Buried, Ironing, Yard

I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'

Tags: Lady, Said, Three

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.

Tags: Baseball, Kids, Weren

I wanted to become me, totally me. The more me, the better. I instinctively knew this and I was right.

Tags: Become, Knew, Wanted

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?

Tags: Husband, Short, Words

The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you.

Tags: Him, Keep, Real

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.

Tags: Age, Old, Show

A stand-up comic is judged by every line. Singers get applause at the end of their song no matter how bad they are.

Tags: Bad, End, Matter

My own laugh is the real thing and I've had it all my life.

Tags: Laugh, Life, Real

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.

Tags: Dog, Picture, Wedding

My father used to call me the laughing hyena.

Tags: Call, Father, Used

The last thing I'd learn, well into my career, was how to get on, how to say hello, how to get in with the audience.

Tags: Career, Last, Learn

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

Tags: Him, Keep, Reason

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Tags: Chance, Funny, Why

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

Tags: Curve, Smile, Straight