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Mark McKinney's Quotes

Mark McKinney profile photo

Born: 1959-06-26
Profession: Comedian
Nation: Canadian
Biography of Mark McKinney

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I'm nutty bunny number two. I love me and I love you.

Tags: Bunny, Love, Number

Of course I get drunk, my brain is only the size of a walnut.

Tags: Brain, Drunk, Size

And now they are getting married, and I'm still single! What's wrong with me?

Tags: Getting, Single, Wrong

I'm a little thirsty, can I go drink out of your toilet?

Tags: Drink, Thirsty, Toilet

It is so cold out there, my head nearly fell off.

Tags: Cold, Head, Off

Oh, and Scott, get Mark to play me. He's the most talented one anyway.

Tags: Anyway, Mark, Oh

The joke newspaper, it says Canada abandons the monarchy.

Tags: Joke, Newspaper, Says

Then my uncle would give off the smell of freshly baked bread which I love.

Tags: Give, Love, Off

What? No one wants my bouquet! Somebody better pick it up! Somebody better pick up my bouquet!

Tags: Pick, Somebody, Wants

You don't go dancing in the day. You don't go golfing in the night.

Tags: Dancing, Golfing, Night

Two stops after I got on, these two unbelievable short people got on, and the way they were looking at me, I could tell. They wanted to bite my ankles!

Tags: After, Short, Wanted

I'm no economist. I don't even play one on TV. I'm just a husband, a father, a taxpayer.

Tags: Father, Husband, Tv

I'm saying it loud: I'm a Republican who supports gay rights.

Tags: Gay, Rights, Saying

I've spent the better part of my career in politics and public policy working on and fighting for education reforms.

Tags: Career, Education, Politics

If we cannot come together to pause, to respect our dead and the heroic lives of meaning they led, then ours is truly a civilization lost.

Tags: Lost, Respect, Together

If you're a Democrat and 'The New York Times' is calling for your head, you know it's time for an exit strategy.

Tags: Head, Time, Times

Immigration is the most explosive issue I've seen in my political career.

Tags: Career, Political, Seen

Immigration reform almost happened under President George W. Bush. Twice. And it was comprehensive.

Tags: Almost, Happened, President

In politics, not all lies are all lies. And not all truths are complete.

Tags: Complete, Lies, Politics

Infrastructure spending does not create immediate jobs, and more than half of those jobs will pull from the pool of the already employed.

Tags: Create, Half, Jobs

It's much more powerful and compelling to create a positive vision than it is to tear somebody down.

Tags: Positive, Powerful, Vision

It's never popular among young people to be part of the establishment.

Tags: Among, Popular, Young

It's rare when a president wins the campaign without winning independents.

Tags: President, Rare, Winning

Life inside the Beltway bubble dulls your thinking.

Tags: Inside, Life, Thinking

Limited government, low taxes, controlled spending and debt, and a restrained regulatory environment make Texas work.

Tags: Debt, Government, Work

Middle America believes in fair play, an equal opportunity to succeed or to fail.

Tags: America, Fair, Succeed
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Mitt Romney is a businessman, a turnaround artist, a CEO. That is who he is. The former governor has experience in the public and private sector.

Tags: Artist, Experience, Public

Mitt Romney is a nice guy. But, we know where nice guys finish in politics.

Tags: Guy, Nice, Politics

My brother is one of my true heroes. Steady and sober where I am impulsive and emotional.

Tags: Brother, Emotional, True

Negativity drove me out of politics in the mid-Nineties.

Tags: Drove, Negativity, Politics

News is virtual now. It is not 24-hour news cycles; it is instant news cycles. It is live. News is live all the time, around the clock.

Tags: Clock, News, Time

Obama killed Osama. Yes, President Barack Obama gets to crow about the killing of Osama bin Laden.

Tags: Obama, President, Yes

One thing is clear: Ron Paul defies labels.

Tags: Clear, Labels, Paul

Party switching has all the emotional edges and baggage of divorce.

Tags: Divorce, Emotional, Party

People who know Paul Ryan say, 'He will be president one day.'

Tags: Paul, President

Politics at bottom is not all that complicated. It's all about timing.

Tags: Bottom, Politics, Timing

Politics only makes the difficult challenge of marriage even harder, with the demands of the job and the public spotlight it casts on a union.

Tags: Job, Marriage, Politics

Public unions are big money.

Tags: Big, Money, Public

Rand Paul comes off like an academic stiff who wants to give us a lecture on American civics.

Tags: American, Give, Off

Reasonable people can reasonably disagree on policy.

Tags: Disagree, Policy, Reasonable

Running for president is hard. But it's good preparation. Because being president is a lot harder.

Tags: Good, Hard, President

Social Security and Medicare are necessary safety nets, but they are nearing insolvency as fewer pay in, more take out, and more take out more.

Tags: Pay, Security, Social

Technology and social media have brought power back to the people.

Tags: Power, Social, Technology

Technology has had more of an impact on the presidency and how the presidency communicates than anything.

Tags: Impact, Presidency, Technology

Temporary tax cuts don't create permanent confidence, nor permanent jobs.

Tags: Confidence, Create, Tax

The GOP cannot expect to win the presidency in the future by simply relying on running up big numbers with white voters.

Tags: Cannot, Future, Win

The Hippocratic Oath says do no harm. It's the Hypocritical Oath that says do no harm to one's political future.

Tags: Future, Political, Says

The Newtown massacre created a tipping point on the gun debate in America.

Tags: America, Gun, Point

The office of the president is the most powerful in the world. It is also, at times, the most powerless.

Tags: Powerful, President, Times

The press doesn't just cover presidential campaigns, they influence them by making arbitrary decisions about who is 'top tier' and merits coverage.

Tags: Decisions, Influence, Making

The Republican Party needs to, first of all, quit electing people in primaries that have prehistoric notions about women's issues.

Tags: Needs, Republican, Women

There's no question that many factors contribute to voters' perceptions about debates and who wins and who loses.

Tags: Loses, Question, Wins

To pull off successful attacks in debates, you have to execute with nuance and subtlety. It has to be artful.

Tags: Debates, Off, Successful

Twitter is not a business. I know its founders would like to think it is. It is, for the most part, a diversion.

Tags: Business, Diversion, Founders

Unfortunately, in American politics there are no standards for shame.

Tags: American, Politics, Shame

Voters crave authenticity.

Tags: Crave, Voters

Wages, investments, and home values are the three legs of the economic stool for most Americans.

Tags: Home, Three, Values

When elected officials and others contribute to a climate and culture that fosters hyper-partisanship, we've got to blow the whistle.

Tags: Culture, Elected, Others

When people see political ads, they think someone's lying to them.

Tags: Lying, Political, Someone

A failure to act is a terrible, stunning legacy for any leader. But far worse when it is the president of the United States. And that's the point driven home by Romney's selection of Ryan, who dared to lead when Obama did not.

Tags: Failure, Home, Leader

A few words about Sarah Palin: She is one of the most fascinating women I have ever met. She crackles with energy like a live electrical wire and on first meeting gets about three inches from your face.

Tags: Energy, Women, Words

A troubled economy is always the sitting president's fault. It was when Ronald Reagan defeated Jimmy Carter, when Bill Clinton defeated George H.W. Bush, and when Barack Obama defeated John McCain by running against George W. Bush.

Tags: Against, Economy, President

Advocacy groups and voters are not wrong to push candidates to declare their position clearly on policy issues. That is good citizenship. Hard questions should be asked of every candidate, every politician. And those public servants should be prepared to answer, but in their own words.

Tags: Good, Hard, Words

America glories in its tradition of the self-made individual. Political candidates compete to be a friend to entrepreneurs, and policymakers, imagining the next Microsoft or Google, design laws to back the innovator in the garage.

Tags: Design, Friend, Political

As a husband and as a father of girls, I cannot imagine any woman in my family making the sacrifice of sanity required to run for office. The limited reward for public service cannot blunt the cost.

Tags: Family, Father, Husband

As history has repeatedly proven, one trade tariff begets another, then another - until you've got a full-blown trade war. No one ever wins, and consumers always get screwed.

Tags: Another, History, War

Conservative women in politics run a punishing gauntlet. They endure psychological evaluations and near-gynecological exams their male and liberal counterparts do not.

Tags: Politics, Run, Women

Consumers can choose from hundreds of channels today, including dozens for kids. At a time of dwindling resources, we don't need to be subsidizing PBS. It's time for Big Bird the mooch to compete with 'Dora the Explorer' and 'Bob the Builder.'

Tags: Big, Time, Today

Contrary to conventional military and game theory, the most effective offense is sometimes a direct attack against your political opponent's greatest strength - not his weaknesses - to place him immediately on the defensive.

Tags: Greatest, Political, Strength

Convention speeches are powerful tools to bend the curve of public opinion. George H. W. Bush's 1988 convention speech is a great example. His son's speech was also quite powerful.

Tags: Great, Powerful, Son

Debt is a drag, a reality you may experience with every credit-card bill you open. But for a corporation or a government, it can be even more of a drag - on economic growth and job creation.

Tags: Experience, Government, Job

Every day I am being told to sign up for Tumblr, Yammer, Friendfeed, Plaxo,, or the hot social-media tool du jour that happened to get mentioned on It is like a social-media arms race. Each one of these new tools is like a cool new night club. Hot today, gone tomorrow, replaced with something else.

Tags: Cool, Today, Tomorrow

Every president becomes a caricature. The press, partisans, late-night shows, and other arbiters of our culture these days boil down complicated and multi-faceted personalities into one-dimensional punchlines.

Tags: Culture, Days, President

George W. Bush is not preoccupied with his legacy - nor with his popularity. He never has been. He has always led based on core conviction and strong principles and has believed that time and distance would allow for context.

Tags: Nor, Strong, Time

George W. Bush was president through some of the darkest days of our history and yet his optimism never waned. He is optimistic by nature, but he also understood the importance of always communicating a sense that things will get better.

Tags: History, Nature, Sense

Great presidents, and even those not so great, never complained about the hands they were dealt. Just the opposite. They assumed they were in the big chair to meet big challenges, no matter how difficult.

Tags: Big, Difficult, Great

Having been heavily involved in the planning of a couple of G.O.P. conventions, my view is, we should just scrap 'em. Cancel 'em. Just figure out an appropriate forum for the nominee to give an acceptance speech and be done with it.

Tags: Acceptance, Done, Give

I don't buy the argument that there can't be a successful independent candidacy for the presidency of the United States. People who say, 'It can't happen,' are many of the same people who said we'd never elect an African American.

Tags: Happen, Said, Successful

I don't claim any moral or ethical high ground, but I also have chosen not to run for public office. Shouldn't there be a higher standard of conduct for public officials?

Tags: High, Moral, Public

I think that the press has a duty and an obligation to report on local government, state government, federal government - to be aggressive, to do its job. And its job is to report on whatever it's covering.

Tags: Government, Job, Whatever

I think the press has an interest in communicating to its viewers or readers, and their viewers or readers drive profit for those news organizations, so I think those news organizations have a certain bias toward their own readers. Yeah, I think they are a special interest. Of course they are.

Tags: Drive, Interest, Special

I took a lot of heat from Republicans when I stepped out of John McCain's campaign after the 2008 primaries. I still supported McCain, and voted for him, but I just didn't want to be the tip of the spear attacking Obama.

Tags: After, Him, Took

I'll tell you, Liz Cheney is going to be a very good candidate. I worked with her during the Bush campaigns. She's smart, she's focused, she's disciplined - and she's got a great back story. She's got a large family. She's a great mom. And she's a hard worker. I think she's going to be a very effective campaigner.

Tags: Family, Good, Great

I've slipped on occasion into the realm of irresponsible invective, but I try to avoid it and generally recant when I fall short. Because name-calling does nothing to improve understanding or move the political debate forward.

Tags: Forward, Political, Try

If Democrats start consistently winning Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado and Nevada, the electoral outlook for Republicans in the future is mighty bleak.

Tags: Future, Start, Winning

If you're running for office, it's tough to be an incumbent. It's tough to run out of Washington. It's better to be an outsider. And Establishment support doesn't help; it more likely hurts.

Tags: Help, Hurts, Tough

In Texas money goes further, with one of the lowest costs of living, one of the lightest tax burdens as a percent of income, and one of the lowest debt-per-capita ratios.

Tags: Goes, Living, Money

It doesn't matter if I go on CBS, PBS or Fox. Whoever is interviewing me is going to want to create some conflict in the story, or it's not interesting. That's just the way the news is.

Tags: Create, Matter, Story

It's just madness. First email. Then instant message. Then MySpace. Then Facebook. Then LinkedIn. Then Twitter. It's not enough anymore to 'Just do it.' Now we have to tell everyone we are doing it, when we are doing it, where we are doing it and why we are doing it.

Tags: Enough, Tell, Why

Marco Rubio is interesting because he checks so many boxes when you think about what a Republican nominee needs. He brings Florida, he's young, he's Hispanic, the Tea Party likes him. But that said, he's got issues, actually surprisingly, ironically, with Mexican-American voters.

Tags: Him, Said, Young

Marketers know - no matter how deep the emotional connection or brand loyalty - when a product does not perform, rational thought overtakes emotion, and most consumers make a new choice.

Tags: Deep, Emotional, Loyalty

Mention the name George W. Bush in mixed company, and you're likely to spark a lot of debate and emotion - hot and cold, good and bad. Not a lot of neutral reaction. He was elected in the most controversial contest in American electoral history and governed during one of the most tumultuous decades.

Tags: Bad, Good, History

Normally, when politicians talk about 'cutting the budget,' they really mean reducing the amount of increase. Actual spending goes up while the politicians claim to have 'cut the budget.'

Tags: Mean, Talk, While

Now personally, I think the president should golf every day and never have a press conference. I want the leader of the free world to be as stress-free as possible. And if golf helps fade the psychic heat from the job, by all means tee it up often, Mr. President.

Tags: Free, Job, Leader

Outside events can change a presidential campaign, a president, and the history of the nation: the Iranian hostage crisis, the bombing of the Marine barracks in Beirut, the downing of the helicopter in Mogadishu, Somalia, the suicide attack on the USS Cole, and, of course, the terrorist attacks of Sept. 11, 2001.

Tags: Change, Crisis, History

Presidential primary debates are an important part of our political process. But the media has wrested complete control from the parties and candidates over everything, including the number, the format, the qualifications, and the moderators. And they've become a circus.

Tags: Become, Control, Political

Presidents should do whatever possible and practical to encourage an environment of cooperation and bipartisanship. And they should maintain a certain level of decorum, diplomacy and decency. But, at the end of the day, presidents get elected to enact change.

Tags: Change, End, Whatever

Public employees contribute real value for the benefit of all citizens. Public-union bosses collect real money from all taxpayers for the benefit of a few.

Tags: Few, Money, Real

Republicans constantly claim to be the party that defends the Constitution. We have no legitimate right to that claim until we get right on gay rights.

Tags: Gay, Rights, Until

Republicans working in leadership and the trenches are largely old, white, male, out-of-touch, out of ideas, technology averse, and living in the past.

Tags: Leadership, Past, Technology
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