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Paul Merton's Quotes

Paul Merton profile photo

Born: 1957-07-09
Profession: Comedian
Nation: British
Biography of Paul Merton

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My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.

Tags: Life, Past, School

I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?

Tags: Air, Hear, Understand

When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them.

Tags: Creating, Funny, Jokes

When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don't have to go and work at the civil service, I really think I've won.

Tags: Morning, Service, Work

Am I allowed to call myself working-class now? Because obviously I'm now very rich.

Tags: Allowed, Call, Rich

And like the old stereotype, I overcame my shyness by making my friends laugh.

Tags: Friends, Laugh, Old

I don't always vote in general elections, but I think I've always voted Labour.

Tags: Elections, General, Vote

I really don't take any interest at all in contemporary comedy.

Tags: Comedy, Interest

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?

Tags: Age, Funny, Nature

I think having an outsider's viewpoint is interesting and good, especially for a comedian.

Tags: Comedian, Good, Outsider

I was trying to organise my DVDs into a sort of chronological order, and I am afraid that it all trailed off after the Sixties.

Tags: Afraid, After, Trying

I've never been disappointed by politicians. I've never invested that much in them in the first place.

Tags: Invested, Place

In fact, I don't watch a lot of contemporary comedy for fear of being influenced by it.

Tags: Comedy, Fact, Fear

On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here?'.

Tags: Him, Mind, Said

The thing about improvisation is that it's not about what you say. It's listening to what other people say. It's about what you hear.

Tags: Hear, Listening

Well, sanity, I suppose, is getting people to see the world your way.

Tags: Getting, Sanity, Suppose

I looked at longevity in show business when I was about 13, and the people who seemed to have longevity were the ones who'd spent quite a bit of time learning about what they were doing before they made it.

Tags: Business, Learning, Time

When I was nine I spent a lot of my time reading books about the history of comedy, or listening to the Goons or Hancock, humour from previous generations.

Tags: Comedy, History, Time