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Graham Norton's Quotes

Graham Norton profile photo

Born: 1963-04-04
Profession: Celebrity
Nation: Irish
Biography of Graham Norton

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It sounds deeply shallow, but for brief spells every member of the public can be fascinating.

Tags: Public, Shallow, Sounds

It's lovely to get one successful show - the chances of finding a second one are not so hot.

Tags: Lovely, Show, Successful

My life could have been so grim... really, really grim.

Tags: Grim, Life

My parents grew up working class, but in that way that working class families do, they spent a fortune on education to better me.

Tags: Education, Parents, Working

Occasionally the state of the planet can knock me off my perky perch.

Tags: Off, Planet, State

One of the great things about being gay and out is that the papers couldn't care less about your love life.

Tags: Great, Life, Love

Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.

Tags: Funny, Men, Someone

The BBC is a victim of its own independence.

Tags: Victim

The BBC will always be attacked by whoever is in government. It is that George Bush thing of 'If you're not with us you are against us.'

Tags: Against, Government, Whoever

The higher your profile becomes, the more aware you are that people out there might hate you.

Tags: Hate, Higher, Might

Those years between drama school and getting onto the stand-up circuit were pretty lean.

Tags: Between, Pretty, School

Tolerance is forced on people in London.

Tags: Forced, London, Tolerance

Well, certainly I think American television is - that's proper TV.

Tags: American, Television, Tv

Where I get bored is when I show up for a shoot and they want me to wear a feather boa. Too obvious a thing for a poof on the telly to do.

Tags: Bored, Show, Wear

You don't want money to make you a social freak where you can only hang out with rich people.

Tags: Money, Rich, Social

You don't want to be hard to look at. Plain very good, hard to look at bad. The plain shall inherit the earth; time is our friend.

Tags: Bad, Good, Time

All my day is spent dealing with other people. When I come home I like it to be empty. The presence of others in my house kind of annoys me. I love coming home and shutting the doors. I feel brain dead. I'm relatively available, but not to live with.

Tags: Brain, Home, Love

All my interesting stories are from before I was on television. Nothing interesting has happened to me since then. Maybe it's because the most interesting thing in my life is the show and that's on telly.

Tags: Life, Show, Since

Basically, I'm a really bad interviewer. I love meeting celebrities, but then I get a bit bored. Once you meet them you thing, 'really, what an ordinary person'.

Tags: Bad, Bored, Love

Because society places a value on masculinity, gay men aspire to it. If you go to a gay club and the doorman says, 'You do realise this is a gay club, don't you lads?' you get all excited because you think, 'Wow, he thought I was straight!'

Tags: Gay, Men, Society

Forty freaked me out. I didn't see it coming. My life was in a state of chaos - I was moving jobs and moving house - and it just hit me like a ton of bricks.

Tags: Life, Moving, State

I spent a long time working in restaurants and making no money. It was very character-building, but I think it could have been built in a shorter time.

Tags: Money, Time, Working

I've heard other gay people say when they were growing up they felt 'foreign.' Growing up, I was able to label these feelings as: 'I'm a Protestant.' It wasn't until I left, I thought: 'Oh, those weren't Protestant feelings.'

Tags: Feelings, Gay, Thought
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In terms of language, yeah we get bleeped and blurred and things, but in terms of content, I would probably say we're getting away with more here than we could get away with in Britain. And that surprised us so much!

Tags: Away, Getting, Here

It's amazing how I can just ramble on for hours, isn't it? And so unentertaining or uninteresting. But I can ramble on for hours. It's a sort of terrible gift, isn't it?

Tags: Amazing, Gift, Terrible

My ambition was to stop waiting tables. That was how I measured success: finally, I was able to stop waiting tables, and I was able to pay the rent, and that was by being a stand-up comic. Not a very good stand-up comic, but good enough to make a living.

Tags: Good, Success, Waiting

My mobile rang around lunchtime one day, and it was George Michael. He wanted to come in on Friday. We were like, 'okay, if that's what you want'. And he was a very good guest. That's a real exception to the rule.

Tags: Good, Real, Wanted

Some people think they're depressed and they go to the doctor and want pills. And you just think: 'You hate where you live, you've lost your job, your boyfriend has dumped you, could all this be why you're depressed?'

Tags: Hate, Job, Lost

The people I want are very famous and very rich, and all I can offer them is a bit of exposure on TV and a bit of cash, so it's a miracle we get any guests at all. But we have been very lucky.

Tags: Famous, Lucky, Rich

All these people I interview are worth ten times what I'm worth.

Tags: Ten, Times, Worth

I do get pleasure from very inconsequential things, like shopping for clothes.

Tags: Clothes, Pleasure, Shopping

The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.

Tags: Desperate, Show

A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.

Tags: Cynical, Guess, Why

An awful lot of female celebrities are very beautiful whereas a lot of male celebrities are not so hot.

Tags: Beautiful, Female, Hot

Britain's such a twisted, weird little place.

Tags: Place, Twisted, Weird

Do I have more depth than I'm given credit for? No!

Tags: Credit, Depth

I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.

Tags: Miserable, Rather, Unhappy

I am camp. Lots of gay men can't cope with their campness. They are in denial about it.

Tags: Denial, Gay, Men

I am really bad at actually interviewing people.

Tags: Actually, Bad

I am very quick to judge.

Tags: Judge, Quick

I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive.

Tags: Alive, Heart, Singing

I don't think anyone wants to be gay.

Tags: Anyone, Gay, Wants

I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

Tags: Bad, Taste

I don't think you should have to try to be nice, I think most people are nice. I think being cheerful and nice is just a politeness.

Tags: Cheerful, Nice, Try

I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything.

Tags: Childhood, Pleasant, Unhappy

I loved Lucille Ball growing up.

Tags: Ball, Growing, Loved

I think the word is adult!

Tags: Adult, Word

I was a failed actor but I still wanted to show off, so I ended up doing live comedy.

Tags: Off, Show, Wanted

I'd like to retire at 50 but I don't want to sell papers in the middle of London on a Zimmer.

Tags: London, Middle, Sell

I'm actually quite self-sufficient, so it might look as if there isn't room for anyone in my life. That isn't entirely the case.

Tags: Anyone, Life, Might

I'm often dating people, but I don't say it because you sort of know it won't last long.

Tags: Dating, Last, Often

I've so exceeded what I ever wanted to do.

Tags: Wanted

If it was possible for me to adopt, I probably would, but no one's going to let me adopt.

Tags: Adopt, Possible

If you'd told the young Graham Norton that I'd one day have this amount of money, I'd have assumed it would have come from a lottery win.

Tags: Money, Win, Young

Now, therefore, the Directors of the company are hereby ordered to see that precautions are taken to make travel on said railroad perfectly safe by using a screw with at least twenty-four inches diameter.

Tags: Company, Said, Travel

The Supreme Court of the United States is hereby commanded to try Andrew Johnson for usurpation of our Imperial authority and prerogatives, and if found guilty, behead him or send him here to black the Emperor's boots.

Tags: Black, Him, Try

To Mr. Seward: It is my desire that, in case Maximillian will surrender, he be sent here a prisoner of war, but that in the event of his continuing the war, or refusing to surrender, then he be shot.

Tags: Desire, Here, War

We do hereby command the Leaders of the Hebrew, Catholic and Protestant Churches to sanctify and have us crowned Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico.

Tags: Catholic, Leaders, United

We further decree that the Senate of the United States elect a prominent Democrat as their presiding officer, to act as President until the next election, and to reconstruct the Cabinet according to our wishes hereafter to be declared.

Tags: Act, Election, Until

We, Norton I, do hereby decree that the offices of President, Vice President, and Speaker of the House of Representatives are, from and after this date, abolished.

Tags: After, House, President
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