Margaret Cho's Quotes

Some people are that - more than a parent, more than a role model, more than anything less than a religion.

Thankfully, beauty is easier to remove than apply, and a swipe of demaquillage in the right direction and you are you once again.

The incognito of lower class employment is an effective cloak for any dagger one might wish to hide.

The newest victims of the nation's foreclosure crisis are pets, which is extremely distressing to me.

To be a feminist is to be alive.

Usually, if you smile at them and show some interest in the toy, they will give it to you. That's a straight up Democrat move!

We women are constantly at war with our bodies, it is hard to find amnesty for ourselves.

Why can't all different types of women be considered beautiful? Why can't we can't we all be considered possible love interests?

You don't become a Republican until you lose all your baby teeth and fall down a lot and get the croup and then become angry and bitter.

You don't need people to tell you how beautiful you are on there.

Comedy was the key to everything. I grew up fast and controlled my future by bringing it on faster than it naturally unfolded. I cheated myself out of a childhood but then got a running headstart into adulthood that no one else could keep up with.

I punished myself and avoided my reflection in mirrors and any windows. I would see myself reflected back, and I would look away, trying to pretend I didn't exist, because I hated myself so much.

It is tragic that people who are incarcerated are unable to vote. They are probably the most important voices to listen to because they can tell us what we need to change.

I am a big 'Ellen' fan. I have been one for quite a long time now. I used to do the local news talk shows with her in San Francisco, when we were both still kids.

I am star-struck but also I've known a lot of people for a long time. Like I'm super star-struck by Grant Lee Phillips and Jon Brion but I've known them for 17 years. So it's kinda like weird to be star-struck still, but I still am!

I can't drag myself away from 'Final Cut Pro.' It is a digital video editing system. I am obsessed with it, but I am always away from home, and I can't use it.

I get up around 7 a.m. That's very early for a stand-up comic. Then I'll have breakfast with my husband, the artist Al Ridenour, take my three dogs for a walk and commence with my work.

I have learned to love that which is meant to harm me, so that I can stand in the way of those who are less strong. I can take the bullets for those who aren't able to.

I mean, what's great about touring is that's what you do. You're in a constant state of motion and then you stop to do a show and you move onto the next city. All you have to do is do the show. That's the only responsibility that you have.

I'm taking a lot of my favorite artists, different people, my favorite music and marrying that with what I do as a comic. It's very collaborative, arty, fun and cool.

Interventions are really emotionally exhausting and I would never ever want to have one. In the same way, I would never want to have a surprise birthday party. That would be horrible.

It's very hard for a woman in comedy. It's hard for women to be bold and not care what anyone, particularly men, think. Maybe that is why so many women comics are lesbians.

Snooki is really beautiful and looks quite like Elizabeth Taylor in 'Cleopatra.' She has the same bone structure. I'm kind of obsessed with 'Jersey Shore.' People don't give them enough credit for how entertaining they are.

Try to put your happiness before anyone else's, because you may never have done so in your entire life, if you really think about it, if you are really honest with yourself.

When you feel powerful, you are willing to stand up for your rights, you are willing to stand up for what you believe in, you're more willing to stand up and be counted.

Maybe I wanted to hear it so badly that my ears betrayed my mind in order to secure my heart.

Ugly. Is irrelevant. It is an immeasurable insult to a woman, and then supposedly the worst crime you can commit as a woman. But ugly, as beautiful, is an illusion.

People drain me, even the closest of friends, and I find loneliness to be the best state in the union to live in.

Sometimes the only way to deal with horrific things in life is through a dark sense of humor.

If you say you're not a feminist, you're almost denying your own existence.

Being called ugly and fat and disgusting to look at from the time I could barely understand what the words meant has scarred me so deep inside that I have learned to hunt, stalk, claim, own and defend my own loveliness.

Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else's life forever.

Why go through life feeling cheated? It does nothing but make you bitter.

The power of visibility can never be underestimated.

My boyfriend and I live together, which means we don't have sex - ever. Now that the milk is free, we've both become lactose intolerant.

My former bullies pay extra to come backstage and meet me after shows, and I pretend not to know them in front of their friends. It is the most divine pleasure to exact the revenge of the brutalized child that resides within.

It's good to be able to laugh at yourself and the problems you face in life. Sense of humor can save you.

Love is the big booming beat which covers up the noise of hate.

Privacy and security are those things you give up when you show the world what makes you extraordinary.

Try to love someone who you want to hate, because they are just like you, somewhere inside, in a way you may never expect, in a way that resounds so deeply within you that you cannot believe it.

I am into belly dancing. I used to only hang with comics. Now I have friends who are dancers, and my whole house has a harem feel.

I love drugs, but I hate hangovers, and the hatred of the hangover wins by a landslide every time.

I thought I was so ugly for so long, and I wasted so much of my life on this dumb notion.

I'm lucky that I have good genetics. Like you said, it just gets better as I get older.

I didn't appreciate the young woman that I was, or my young beauty, because I was so obsessed with the fact that I felt fat. It's never good to add to anybody else's suffering. It's an important topic to really get the gravity and the importance of - dealing with dignity.

To start telling people that you're beautiful, or just feel beautiful, just start acting like you are the most beautiful woman in the world. And it really improves everything! Because your sort of psyche responds to it - like this is truthful!

Babies got it going on!

Comedy was all I ever wanted.

Grow up and let anyone try to contend with the adult you.

I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out.