Bill Cosby's Quotes

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.

The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic.

We're not raising children with the love that we need to.

Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first.

Family is conflict and it's something that we all relate to.

There is no job a man can do that is undignified - if he does it well.

I want all this loud profanity in the street stopped. I want people to think about choices.

I'm old, not dead.

You can't compete with Walmart. But you can have smaller businesses that are successful.

I have to follow my thoughts and mine for the gold. I have to dig it out.

I was put in remedial everything.

Social networking helps reach people easier and quicker.

When I say, I don't care what white people think, I mean that.

When I was a boy if a girl got pregnant the shame was placed on her and the boy could get away.

Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.

Kids need to remember that when you put something on Twitter, it's not like whispering to your friend, you've put it on a billboard that the whole world, including your own kids someday, can see.

Every success story has a parent who says, 'over my dead body.' Every success story has an old person who walks up to you and says, when you're acting the fool, 'you know I worry about you sometimes.'

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.

As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by 'survival of the fittest.'

I don't have a problem believing in God and Jesus. But in Genesis one has to wonder about these sentences that just go on and end without finishing. The thought is unfinished. Where did Adam go? What is he doing? Hello? There has to be some pages missing.

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I think the part of media that romanticizes criminal behavior, things that a person will say against women, profanity, being gangster, having multiple children with multiple men and women and not wanting to is prevalent. When you look at the majority of shows on television they placate that kind of behavior.

Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality? Now that I have five children, my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.

I'm not the healthiest, but I am healthy. I'm healthy to the point where there are things that I have to eat that I don't want to eat, but I eat it because I'm enjoying staying alive.

I cannot understand how the education of this United States of America has been fooled time and time again. Either make it separate but equal or integrate, therefore it will be equal. And it has been separate and unequal.

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.

Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.

You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.

Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children.

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge.

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.

Parents are not interested in justice, they're interested in peace and quiet.

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.

The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

Did you ever see the customers in health - food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half - dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific.

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

The first-born in every family is always dreaming for an imaginary older brother or sister who will look out for them.

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.