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Dave Attell's Quotes

Dave Attell profile photo

Born: 1965-01-18
Profession: Comedian
Nation: American
Biography of Dave Attell

See the gallery for quotes by Dave Attell. You can to use those 8 images of quotes as a desktop wallpapers.
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A lot of these kids I think are more content just to be on Facebook and the computer than they are to actually go out. They just really want to get a picture to post to their buddies, and that's about it.

Tags: Actually, Kids, Picture

For a long time the people at my shows were sort of the Pantera-tattoo trucker guys, really cool dudes, but I don't know what happened to them. That's the crowd that I like, the ones that don't get so offended just to be offended.

Tags: Cool, Guys, Time

I keep getting these people at my shows who only know me from television. I can always tell when they're, like, emotionally flinching when I start doing my jokes.

Tags: Keep, Start, Tell

I'm a stand-up comic. Anything else I do besides that is a plus, but stand-up comedy is what I do, it's what I've been doing and it's what I'm going to keep doing.

Tags: Comedy, Else, Keep

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin.

Tags: Eat, Fish, Tell

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

Tags: Fire, Men, Women

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people 'the cops.' But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!

Tags: Drunk, School, Sometimes

Being on the road is kind of lonely.

Tags: Lonely, Road

When I was a kid, I really loved Indians. Native Americans. Pardon. Me.

Tags: Kid, Loved, Native

Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.

Tags: Call, Matter

I don't mind a crowd's not laughing; it's the groans that slow down the show.

Tags: Laughing, Mind, Show

I don't think I'm a star or a celebrity or any thing like that.

Tags: Celebrity, Star

I don't watch reality TV.

Tags: Reality, Tv, Watch

I don't watch reality TV. I'm cool.

Tags: Cool, Reality, Watch

I feel like soundtrack music is almost like seeing the movie again, but with my ears.

Tags: Again, Almost, Music

I get recognized, but I'm not really a famous famous.

Tags: Famous, Recognized

I have an imagination because my life is so boring that my imagination lets me get off the reality of what's going on.

Tags: Boring, Life, Reality

I have no grand scheme.

Tags: Grand, Scheme

I have soundtracks for a lot of stuff.

Tags: Stuff

I like doing stand-up and I love putting out TV specials.

Tags: Love, Putting, Tv

I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

Tags: Joke, Tell, Writing

I never wanted to be famous.

Tags: Famous, Wanted

I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like other comics who tell jokes.

Tags: Joke, Tell, Writing

I'm not a movie guy, I'm not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me.

Tags: Funny, Good, Whatever

I'm not like a performer type.

Tags: Performer, Type

I'm not really a music guy.

Tags: Guy, Music
Much more quotes by Dave Attell below the page.

My day jobs... I knew I was bad at those, so I didn't really have the confidence to think that I could do comedy. But I knew I hated the day jobs.

Tags: Bad, Comedy, Confidence

Once you get offstage you're just like everyone else, and everyone else can get into a fight.

Tags: Else, Everyone, Fight

Sometimes it's hard to tell if a joke is working or not for the first couple of minutes.

Tags: Hard, Sometimes, Working