Tom Lehrer's Quotes
Biography of Tom Lehrer
I figure I wrote 37 songs in 20 years, and that's not exactly a full-time job. It wasn't that I was writing and writing and writing and quit. Every now and then I wrote something, and every now and then I didn't. The second just outnumbered the first.Tags: Job, Second, Writing
I'm not tempted to write a song about George W. Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them.Tags: Problem, Song, Write
My last public performance for money was in 1967. For free, it was 1972, with the exception of two little one-shot, one-song things. But that's just for friends, out of friendship for the people involved, and also because it was fun.Tags: Friendship, Fun, Money
The Army has carried the American ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.Tags: Ability, American, Color
On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.Tags: Away, Put, Wanted
I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.Tags: Problems, Shut
Life is like a sewer: what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.Tags: Depends, Life, Put
Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.Tags: Peace, Political, Satire
It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.Tags: Age, Dead, Thought
It is sobering to consider that when Mozart was my age he had already been dead for a year.Tags: Age, Dead, Year
Think as you work, for in the final analysis, your worth to your company comes not only in solving problems, but also in anticipating them.Tags: Problems, Work, Worth
Be prepared, and be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.Tags: Deeds, Good, Prepared
Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your .Tags: Counting
I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!Tags: Fellow, Hate, Love
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I like Jon Stewart. He's not as obnoxious as Dennis Miller, whom I really can't stand.Tags: Obnoxious, Stand, Whom
I wasn't really a performer by temperament.Tags: Performer
In my youth there were words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can't say 'girl.'Tags: Girl, Words, Youth