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Doug Coupland's Quotes

Doug Coupland profile photo

Born: 1961-12-30
Profession: Author
Nation: Canadian
Biography of Doug Coupland

See the gallery for quotes by Doug Coupland. You can to use those 8 images of quotes as a desktop wallpapers.
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Try not thinking of peeling an orange. Try not imagining the juice running down your fingers, the soft inner part of the peel. The smell. Try and you can't. The brain doesn't process negatives.

Tags: Brain, Thinking, Try

You can't fake creativity, competence, or sexual arousal.

Tags: Creativity, Fake, Sexual

Most people have no idea how to politely answer a phone. The English do, and it's been their only major business advantage for the past two centuries.

Tags: Business, Idea, Past

There's much to be said for feeling numb. Time passes more quickly. You eat less, and because numbness encourages laziness, you do fewer things, good or bad, and the world's probably a better place for it.

Tags: Bad, Good, Time

Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

Tags: Birthday, Free, Time

Workshops and seminars are basically financial speed dating for clueless people.

Tags: Dating, Financial, Speed

When you crop the photo, you tell a lie.

Tags: Lie, Photo, Tell

Big companies are like marching bands. Even if half the band is playing random notes, it still sounds kind of like music. The concealment of failure is built into them.

Tags: Big, Failure, Music

Your ability to rationalize your own bad deeds makes you believe that the whole world is as amoral as you are.

Tags: Bad, Makes, Whole

There are three things we cry about in life, things that are lost, things that are found, and things that are magnificent.

Tags: Cry, Life, Lost

Feeling unique is no indication of uniqueness.

Tags: Feeling, Unique, Uniqueness

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.

Tags: Courage, Human, Year

If you don't change, then what's the point of anything happening to you?

Tags: Change, Happening, Point

It's weird when people start sentences with 'frankly' - as if their other sentences don't count.

Tags: Count, Start, Weird

Never loan a book to someone if you expect to get it back. Loaning books is the same as giving them away.

Tags: Book, Giving, Someone

You can never become rich unless you like rich people.

Tags: Become, Rich, Unless

With Google I'm starting to burn out on knowing the answer to everything. People in the year 2020 are going to be nostalgic for the sensation of feeling clueless.

Tags: Feeling, Knowing, Year

Florida isn't so much a place where one goes to reinvent oneself, as it is a place where one goes if one no longer wished to be found.

Tags: Found, Goes, Place

If our subconscious was attractive, we wouldn't have to bury it down deep within us.

Tags: Attractive, Deep, Within

Once you establish a look, and once everybody recognizes that look as your look, you never have to think about fashion again.

Tags: Again, Fashion, Once

Only losers make decisions when things are bad. The time to rejig your life is the time when it's seemingly smooth.

Tags: Bad, Life, Time

The harder you try to become the opposite of your parents, the more quickly you become them.

Tags: Become, Parents, Try

What if God exists except it turns out he doesn't really like people very much?

Tags: Except, Exists, God

You wait for fate to bring about the changes in life which you should be bringing about by yourself.

Tags: Life, Wait, Yourself

Tofu hot dogs are actually scarier than real hot dogs. It's like wanting the worst possible meat product without even the thrill of it actually being meat.

Tags: Actually, Possible, Real

Being asked what animal you'd like to be is a trick question; you're already an animal.

Tags: Animal, Asked, Question

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Much more quotes by Doug Coupland below the page.

Cloning is great. If God made the original, then making copies should be fine.

Tags: God, Great, Making

Good-looking people with strong, fluoridated teeth get things handed to them on platters.

Tags: Handed, Strong, Teeth

If you're not a tree hugger, then you're a what, a tree hater?

Tags: Hater, Tree

Lottery tickets are a surtax on desperation.

Tags: Lottery, Tickets

Make your goals big and broad enough so that they never become answered prayers and boomerang to curse you.

Tags: Become, Big, Enough

Technology favors horrible people.

Tags: Favors, Horrible, Technology

You pretend to be more eccentric than you actually are because you fear you are an interchangeable cog.

Tags: Actually, Fear, Pretend

A ring is a halo on your finger.

Tags: Finger, Halo, Ring

Failure is authentic, and because it's authentic, it's real and genuine, and because of that, it's a pure state of being.

Tags: Failure, Real, State

Gap clothing allows you to look like you're from nowhere and anywhere.

Tags: Anywhere, Clothing, Nowhere

God is what keeps us together after the love is gone.

Tags: God, Love, Together

I want pills called September 10. You take one and your mind feels like the 11th never happened.

Tags: Feels, Happened, Mind

If a building looks better under construction than it does when finished, then it's a failure.

Tags: Building, Failure, Looks

If cats were double the size they are now, they'd probably be illegal.

Tags: Cats, Pet, Size

It's difficult to speak with beautiful people. No matter how hard you try to pretend otherwise, you still want them to like you.

Tags: Beautiful, Hard, Try

Making eye contact with adults while dressed as a clown is risky.

Tags: Eye, Making, While

Men won't read any email from a woman that's over 200 words long.

Tags: Men, Woman, Words

Nature is one great big wood-chipper. Sooner or later, everything shoots out the other end in a spray of blood, bones and hair.

Tags: End, Great, Nature

Nothing very very good and nothing very very bad ever lasts for very very long.

Tags: Bad, Good, Lasts

People will always choose more money over more sex.

Tags: Choose, Money, Sex

Sometimes failure isn't an opportunity in disguise, it's just you.

Tags: Disguise, Failure, Sometimes

Telling people they look relaxed makes them look relaxed.

Tags: Makes, Relaxed, Telling

There's a lot to be said for having a small manageable dream.

Tags: Dream, Said, Small

We decided that the French could never write user-friendly software because they're so rude.

Tags: Decided, Rude, Write

We live in an era with no historical precedents. History is no longer useful as a tool in helping us understand current changes.

Tags: Changes, History, Understand

We want our idols to be dead because it makes death a much less scary place.

Tags: Dead, Death, Place

Americans are a quarter of a billion people who have almost nothing in common except for the fact they've been told they have lots in common.

Tags: Almost, Common, Fact

Clowns drink to blot out the ravages of terrifying children for a living.

Tags: Children, Drink, Living

Eagles are seagulls with a good hairdo.

Tags: Eagles, Good, Hairdo

Every human being you see in the course of a day has a problem that's sucking up at least 70 percent of his or her radar.

Tags: Her, Human, Problem

Everybody has basically the same family, it's just reconfigured slightly differently from one to the next.

Tags: Everybody, Family, Next

Everybody past a certain age, regardless of how they look on the outside, pretty much constantly dreams of being able to escape from their lives.

Tags: Age, Dreams, Past

Fate is for losers.

Tags: Fate, Losers

Figure out what it is in life you don't do well, and then don't do it.

Tags: Figure, Life

Fondue sets, martini shakers and juicing machines: three things the world could live completely without.

Tags: Machines, Martini, Three

Forget about being world famous, it's hard enough just getting the automatic doors at the supermarket to acknowledge our existence.

Tags: Famous, Forget, Hard

High school is such a shared experience in North American culture.

Tags: American, Experience, School

I find it hard to believe that human beings are the crowning achievement of life on earth. Something better than us has to come along.

Tags: Hard, Human, Life

I have trouble with seafood because it tastes like a dock.

Tags: Dock, Tastes, Trouble

I know it's not cat food, but what exactly is it that they put inside of tinned ravioli?

Tags: Food, Inside, Put

I think money is due for some sort of collapse. People are going to realize that money has a half-life, like radioactive elements.

Tags: Elements, Money, Realize

I think that in the future, clocks won't say three o'clock anymore. They'll just get right to the point and rename three o'clock 'Pepsi.'

Tags: Future, Point, Three

I think the killers get far too much attention.

Tags: Attention, Far

I've got 911 on speed dial.

Tags: Dial, Speed

If God drives a car, He'd drive a 1973 Ford LTD Brougham sedan with a claret-colored vinyl roof, with oxblood leather upholstery and an opera window.

Tags: Car, Drive, God

If nothing else, we simply get used to being alive.

Tags: Alive, Else, Used

If your life had lyrics, would they be any good?

Tags: Good, Life, Lyrics

In our heads we're all about 33 years old.

Tags: Heads, Old

Is there anything in the world more annoyingly creepy than an unspoken dress code?

Tags: Code, Creepy, Dress

It also allows you to look as though you're not particularly from the present, future or past, either.

Tags: Future, Past, Though

Life always kills you in the end, but first it prevents you from getting what you want.

Tags: End, Getting, Life

Long lives aren't natural. We forget that senior citizens are as much an invention as toasters or penicillin.

Tags: Forget, Lives, Natural

Most of us have only two or three genuinely interesting moments in our lives; the rest is filler.

Tags: Lives, Rest, Three

New York is a theme park for people with IQs over 108.

Tags: Park, Theme, York

Once you see someone lose it, you can never look at them the same way again.

Tags: Again, Lose, Someone

Purchased experiences don't count.

Tags: Count, Purchased

Quick. Name ten dead redheads.

Tags: Dead, Name, Ten

Royalty is either going to do very well with cloning, or it's going to disappear completely.

Tags: Cloning, Disappear, Either

Salad bars are like a restaurant's lungs. They soak up the impurities and bacteria in the environment, leaving you with much cleaner air to enjoy.

Tags: Air, Enjoy, Leaving

Sometimes it feels as if everything in life is just something we haul into the grave.

Tags: Feels, Life, Sometimes

Sometimes the best lighting of all is a power failure.

Tags: Best, Failure, Power

Star Trek characters never go shopping.

Tags: Characters, Shopping, Star

Ten commandments yet seven deadly sins: conflict?

Tags: Conflict, Deadly, Ten

The future and eternity are two entirely different things.

Tags: Eternity, Future

The modern economy isn't about the redistribution of wealth, it's about the redistribution of time.

Tags: Economy, Time, Wealth

The real killers in the business world aren't the ones who aim for the top, it's the ones who aim for two notches below the top.

Tags: Aim, Business, Real

Thinking you're immortal is weirdly similar to being immortal.

Tags: Immortal, Similar, Thinking

Too much free time is certainly a monkey's paw in disguise. Most people can't handle a structureless life.

Tags: Free, Life, Time

We're rapidly approaching a world comprised entirely of jail and shopping.

Tags: Jail, Rapidly, Shopping

When Donald Duck traded his wings for arms, was he trading up or trading down?

Tags: Arms, Duck, Wings

You can only fall in love six times in your life. Choose wisely.

Tags: Life, Love, Times

You spend a much larger part of your life being old, not young.

Tags: Life, Old, Young

Your body isn't just a body. It's an ecosystem.

Tags: Body, Ecosystem

Your brain forms roughly 10,000 new cells every day, but unless they hook up to preexisting cells with strong memories, they die. Serves them right.

Tags: Brain, Die, Strong