Kin Hubbard's Quotes

It's what a fellow thinks he knows that hurts him.

Live so that you can at least get the benefit of the doubt.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

Nobody ever grew despondent looking for trouble.

Nobody kicks on being interrupted if it's by applause.

Nobody works as hard for his money as the man who marries it.

Nothing is as irritating as the fellow who chats pleasantly while he's overcharging you.

Peace has its victories no less than war, but it doesn't have as many monuments to unveil.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

The only way to entertain some folks is to listen to them.

There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?

Universal peace sounds ridiculous to the head of an average family.

Where ignorance is bliss it's foolish to borrow your neighbor's newspaper.

As to those who hoard gold and silver and spend it not in God's path, give them, then, the tidings of a painful agony: on a day when these things shall be heated in hell-fire, and their foreheads, and their sides, and their backs shall be branded therewith.

Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while.

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men.

Fun is like life insurance; the older you get, the more it costs.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

A bee is never as busy as it seems; it's just that it can't buzz any slower.

There are two ways to handle a woman, and nobody knows either of them.

If capital and labor ever do get together it's good night for the rest of us.

Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.

Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.

Kindness goes a long ways lots of times when it ought to stay at home.

There is no failure except in no longer trying. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our own inherent weakness of purpose.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Lots of folks confuse bad management with destiny.

Getting talked about is one of the penalties for being pretty, while being above suspicion is about the only compensation for being homely.

Some folks can look so busy doing nothing that they seem indispensable.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth once they inherit it.

A loafer always has the correct time.

The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing.

It ain't a bad plan to keep still occasionally even when you know what you're talking about.