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Ogden Nash's Quotes

Ogden Nash profile photo

Born: 1902-08-19
Profession: Poet
Nation: American
Biography of Ogden Nash

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Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

Tags: Age, Else, Someone

The only people who should really sin are the people who can sin and grin.

Tags: Grin, Sin

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven criminals?

Tags: Direct, Line, Year

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

Tags: Control, Exciting, Happiness

Women would rather be right than reasonable.

Tags: Rather, Reasonable, Women

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them.

Tags: Debts, Fun, None

Every Englishman is convinced of one thing, viz.: That to be an Englishman is to belong to the most exclusive club there is.

Tags: Belong, Club, Convinced

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Tags: Floor, Life, Waxed

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it.

Tags: Fond, Telling

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Tags: Paid, Standing, Work

Commitments the voters don't know about can't hurt you.

Tags: Hurt, Voters

I claim there ain't Another Saint As great as Valentine.

Tags: Another, Claim, Great

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

Tags: Another, Remorse

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

Tags: Happens, Men, Whatever

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Tags: Mind, Remorse, Violent

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that the best way to make friends is to do something terrible and then make amends.

Tags: Best, Friends, Terrible

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Tags: Love, Marriage, Wrong

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

Tags: Age, Home, Hope

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

Tags: Enough, Money, Work

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Tags: Happiness, Itch, Scratch

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

Tags: Candy, Liquor, Quicker

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Tags: Dog, Door, Wrong

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

Tags: Late, Mind, Simply

The trouble with a kitten is that eventually it becomes a cat.

Tags: Eventually, Pet, Trouble

I have an idea that the phrase 'weaker sex' was coined by some woman to disarm the man she was preparing to overwhelm.

Tags: Idea, Sex, Woman

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

Tags: Children, Happy, Parenting
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The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

Tags: Morning, Night, Regret

Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy, but it's very funny - Did you ever try buying then without money?

Tags: Funny, Life, Money

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making a living, which is rather a nouciance.

Tags: Life, Living, Rather

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

Tags: Family, Men, Women

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

Tags: Alliance, Birthdays, Marriage

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all.

Tags: Conscience, Either, Happiness

The cow is of the bovine ilk; one end is moo, the other milk.

Tags: Cow, End, Milk

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

Tags: Era, News, Wrong

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

Tags: Children, Happy, Parents

Oh, what a tangled web do parents weave when they think that their children are naive.

Tags: Children, Naive, Parents

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Tags: Might, Once, Progress

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

Tags: Hope, Mothers, Tongue

Too clever is dumb.

Tags: Clever, Dumb

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

Tags: Feed, Remorse, Stop

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I'll never see a tree at all.

Tags: Fall, Lovely, Shall
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