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Ron White's Quotes

Ron White profile photo

Born: 1956-12-18
Profession: Comedian
Nation: American
Biography of Ron White

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I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

Tags: Funny, Life, Try

I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.

Tags: Ability, Remain, Silent

The next time you have a thought... let it go.

Tags: Funny, Thought, Time

I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow.

Tags: Today, Tomorrow, Wisdom

People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.

Tags: Saying, True, Work

You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.

Tags: Hammered, Truth, Wanna

Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane.

Tags: Death, Mine, Trying

Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!

Tags: Diamonds, Her, Minute

I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling.

Tags: Great, Rock, Star

Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.

Tags: Anybody, Penetrates, Skin

I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers.

Tags: Comedian, Good, Peers

There have been times in my life that I've had a ton of vices, and my demons have run amok for years and years and years.

Tags: Life, Run, Times

I've never been one to look up the ladder. I've always looked down the ladder. As long as there's one guy down there, I'm fine.

Tags: Fine, Guy, Ladder

I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.

Tags: Bad, Good, Small

I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em.

Tags: Actually, Great, Last

The hardest that I've laughed at a movie was probably Team America. I laughed 'til I thought I was just gonna throw up. I almost had to turn it off.

Tags: America, Team, Thought

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out.

Tags: Done, Jokes, Throw

Everybody I know is a joke writer.

Tags: Everybody, Joke, Writer

I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative.

Tags: Creative, Somewhat

I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.

Tags: Child, Comedy, Fan

My goal is just to become a better comedian.

Tags: Become, Comedian, Goal

When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.

Tags: Dad, Old, Used

There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong.

Tags: Diet, Real, Wrong

But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It's like anything else. It's a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever.

Tags: Else, Work, Write
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