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Fat Quotes

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My doctor told me that I'm old, fat, and ugly, but none of those things is going to kill me immediately.

Tags: Old, Ugly  ✍ Author: Roger Ailes

Nobody wants a fat lead singer.

Tags: Nobody, Wants  ✍ Author: Sebastian Bach

I do fat people and these makeups are really hard to do, but I want to make monster movies.

Tags: Hard, Movies  ✍ Author: Rick Baker

Americans like fat books and thin women.

Tags: Books, Women  ✍ Author: Russell Baker

My organs are too powerful... I manufacture blood and fat too rapidly.

Tags: Blood, Powerful  ✍ Author: Robert Baldwin

Then I did Mystic Pizza, just to do something I wasn't fat in.

Tags: Mystic, Pizza  ✍ Author: Vincent D\'Onofrio

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Tags: Found, Funny  ✍ Author: Rodney Dangerfield

Folk music is a bunch of fat people.

Tags: Folk, Music  ✍ Author: Bob Dylan

If you want to look young and thin hang around old fat people.

Tags: Old, Young  ✍ Author: Michael F. Easley

I never feel that my music is sparse or minimalist; the way fat people never really think they're fat. I certainly don't consider myself minimalist at all.

Tags: Consider, Music  ✍ Author: Morton Feldman

I guess I don't so much mind being old, as I mind being fat and old.

Tags: Mind, Old  ✍ Author: Benjamin Franklin

Fat jokes to me are always, always hilarious, as long as they're done towards yourself.

Tags: Done, Yourself  ✍ Author: Zach Galifianakis

I would just like to say that opera is no longer about fat people in breastplates shattering wine glasses.

Tags: Longer, Wine  ✍ Author: Lesley Garrett

The role of a do-gooder is not what actors call a fat part.

Tags: Call, Role  ✍ Author: Lawrence Halprin

Muscle and water is critical in burning fat.

Tags: Critical, Water  ✍ Author: Lee Haney

A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.

Tags: Fight, Run  ✍ Author: Elbert Hubbard

I was always handsome under all the fat.

Tags: Handsome  ✍ Author: Robert Iler

You're either too fat or too thin. You just can't win.

Tags: Either, Win  ✍ Author: Natalie Imbruglia

I was what they call 'skinny fat' - a body that resembled a python after swallowing a goat.

Tags: After, Body  ✍ Author: A. J. Jacobs

A fat stomach never breeds fine thoughts.

Tags: Fine, Thoughts  ✍ Author: Thomas Jefferson

You're never going to see the fat Elvis in me. People I admired like Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and John Belushi all died at 27. I've got jeans older than that.

Tags: Died, Older  ✍ Author: Jon Bon Jovi

My father raised us like... we were not allowed to see people in any sort of colors, but also we were not allowed to call people fat. If ever we were to say, 'Oh that fat person, or this person,' he would make us put a bar of soap in our mouth and count to 10. We weren't allowed to look at people like that.

Tags: Father, Put  ✍ Author: Khloe Kardashian
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About the only other thing I'd want would be a wider neck. My fingers are so fat that sometimes I deaden the string next to the one I'm fretting.

Tags: Next, Sometimes  ✍ Author: Terry Kath

I like fat people more then I like thin people, things are always a lot more funnier when they happen to fat people.

Tags: Happen, Thin  ✍ Author: Lloyd Kaufman

I still consider myself a little, fat kid from Hawaii.

Tags: Consider, Kid  ✍ Author: Robert Kiyosaki

Being fat worked, and I think that was what was confusing for me for a long time in my career.

Tags: Career, Time  ✍ Author: Ricki Lake

I'm still the fat kid from high school who never had a date.

Tags: High, School  ✍ Author: Nathan Lane

As a dancer I've always checked my body constantly; 'Am I having a good day or am I having a fat day?'

Tags: Body, Good  ✍ Author: Bonnie Langford

When I got into the sport I was so fat that my manager said he should send me to boot camp to lose the weight!

Tags: Lose, Said  ✍ Author: Li Na

With my sunglasses on, I'm Jack Nicholson. Without them, I'm fat and 60.

Tags: Jack, Sunglasses  ✍ Author: Jack Nicholson

I've always been known as the fat kid from Stand By Me.

Tags: Known, Stand  ✍ Author: Jerry O\'Connell

I don't mind being slightly fat-ish, I just don't want to be fat.

Tags: Mind, Slightly  ✍ Author: Chris O\'Dowd

I would love to date a chef. I'd probably get really fat, but I don't care.

Tags: Care, Love  ✍ Author: Elizabeth Olsen

I'm fat, but I'm thin inside... there's a thin man inside every fat man.

Tags: Inside, Thin  ✍ Author: George Orwell

You gotta keep the ball off the fat part of the bat.

Tags: Keep, Off  ✍ Author: Satchel Paige

We feel it's unacceptable to be fat, when it has nothing to do with who the person actually is.

Tags: Actually  ✍ Author: Gwyneth Paltrow

I put on the fat suit and went outside and walked around. I was really nervous about being found out, but nobody would even make eye contact with me. It really upset me.

Tags: Found, Put  ✍ Author: Gwyneth Paltrow

These are the people who do studies that your carry-out Chinese meals are saturated in fat. I'd just like to meet them! I mean, what do they do for pleasure?

Tags: Mean, Meet  ✍ Author: Robert M. Parker, Jr.

A fat stomach sticks out too far. It prevents you from looking down and seeing what is going on around you.

Tags: Far, Looking  ✍ Author: Kathleen Raine

I don't think it's a good advert for any restaurant, a fat chef, and secondly, who wants to eat a dessert when the chef's a fat pig.

Tags: Chef, Good  ✍ Author: Gordon Ramsay

I have a fat head - I get freaked-out looking at pictures of me.

Tags: Head, Looking  ✍ Author: Rachael Ray

Well, I'd had the Fat Mattress earlier as a writing outlet for songs and that.

Tags: Songs, Writing  ✍ Author: Noel Redding

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

Tags: Food, Her  ✍ Author: Joan Rivers

It's simple, if it jiggles, it's fat.

Tags: Funny, Simple  ✍ Author: Arnold Schwarzenegger

If anything, the bailouts actually hindered lending, as banks became more like house pets that grow fat and lazy on two guaranteed meals a day than wild animals that have to go out into the jungle and hunt for opportunities in order to eat.

Tags: Actually, Lazy  ✍ Author: Matt Taibbi

When I was larger, people said I was fat. Now that I've lost weight, they say I died.

Tags: Lost, Said  ✍ Author: Luther Vandross

Let's face it: Russell Crowe is fat and no one ever talks about it.

Tags: Face, Talks  ✍ Author: Nia Vardalos

You're never too fat for a new purse.

Tags: Purse  ✍ Author: Nia Vardalos

I find no sweeter fat than sticks to my own bones.

Tags: Bones, Sticks  ✍ Author: Walt Whitman

I am the one who got myself fat, who did all the eating. So I had to take full responsibility for it.

Tags: Eating, Full  ✍ Author: Kirstie Alley

There's a lot more to life than how fat or thin you are.

Tags: Life, Thin  ✍ Author: Kirstie Alley

I think that what scares me more than getting fat during pregnancy is the responsibility of a child.

Tags: Child, Getting  ✍ Author: Carol Alt

If I'm two pounds heavier, I'm fat. If I'm skinnier, I'm sick. It's ridiculous. And that's not coming from agents or designers.

Tags: Coming, Sick  ✍ Author: Alessandra Ambrosio

Outside every fat man there was an even fatter man trying to close in.

Tags: Outside, Trying  ✍ Author: Kingsley Amis

People who wear fur smell like a wet dog if they're in the rain. And they look fat and gross.

Tags: Dog, Rain  ✍ Author: Pamela Anderson

For the majority of the time, I may as well have been just a really tan white kid. You know, I may as well have just been, like, a fat kid.

Tags: May, Time  ✍ Author: Aziz Ansari

I have an amazing metabolism. I'm sure that'll be gone one day. But I like to exercise, too, so I don't think I'll ever get really fat.

Tags: Amazing, Sure  ✍ Author: Aziz Ansari

We've going to bring back thighs. Enough of these size zeros. Thighs, and back fat, and over-the-belt fat, it's all got to come back again, and we're the ones to do it.

Tags: Again, Enough  ✍ Author: Nicole Appleton

I don't want to play the fat guy or the friend for the rest of my life.

Tags: Friend, Life  ✍ Author: Sean Astin

All fat women look the same; they all look 42.

Tags: Women  ✍ Author: Margaret Atwood

It's okay to be fat. So you're fat. Just be fat and shut up about it.

Tags: Okay, Shut  ✍ Author: Roseanne Barr

'Escargot' is French for 'fat crawling bag of phlegm'.

Tags: Bag, French  ✍ Author: Dave Barry

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.

Tags: American, Problem  ✍ Author: Dave Barry

I have a tendency to evolve into William Shatner, with my big fat face.

Tags: Big, Face  ✍ Author: Jason Bateman

I find the female tragedy of insecurity to be hilarious. We get obsessed over issues like the tiny skin tags on our backs or that we're fat. You read one line in a magazine and it sends you into a tailspin.

Tags: Insecurity, Read  ✍ Author: Lake Bell

I have fallen in love with American names, the sharp names that never get fat.

Tags: American, Love  ✍ Author: Stephen Vincent Benet

People will make mean comments. People are going to say that you're fat, that you're this, that you're that. You just have to be comfortable in your own skin.

Tags: Mean, Skin  ✍ Author: Ashley Benson

If you say you're fat, all of a sudden people like you!

Tags: Sudden  ✍ Author: Valerie Bertinelli

You don't want people to suffer or get fat when they're pregnant.

Tags: Pregnant, Suffer  ✍ Author: Julie Bowen

Opera? Just what the world needs: more fat women screaming.

Tags: Needs, Women  ✍ Author: Peter Boyle

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money.

Tags: Mind, Money  ✍ Author: Marlon Brando

I'm an absolute connoisseur of cheeseburgers and like to think that I can detect even mere percentages of shift in fat content in ground meat in a burger and can actually name the temperature to which it was actually cooked to the degree if I'm, you know, really on my game.

Tags: Actually, Game  ✍ Author: Alton Brown

It's not about weight, it's about fitness, and one component of being fit is to have relatively low body fat, because fat is not very efficient, whereas muscle is.

Tags: Body, Fitness  ✍ Author: Deborah Bull

Because muscle is heavier than fat, dancers weigh more than you might think, but they are usually very lean.

Tags: Dancers, Might  ✍ Author: Deborah Bull

I always recommend a sensible diet, including lots of carbohydrates and avoiding too much fat. Dancers don't need different fuel from other people - they just need more of it because they use more energy.

Tags: Diet, Energy  ✍ Author: Deborah Bull

People - and I include myself - get fat because they choose pleasure over self-denial.

Tags: Choose, Pleasure  ✍ Author: Julie Burchill

There are exciting, intelligent, fat people - and exciting, intelligent, thin people.

Tags: Exciting, Thin  ✍ Author: Julie Burchill

I walked out of the Chinese restaurant with a fat check, a record deal, and a box of shrimp egg foo yung!

Tags: Deal, Egg  ✍ Author: Solomon Burke

They lard their lean books with the fat of others work.

Tags: Others, Work  ✍ Author: Richard Burton

After we have calmly stood by and allowed monopolies to grow fat, we should not be asked to make them bloated.

Tags: After, Grow  ✍ Author: John Griffin Carlisle

I like to write a joke without any fat on it.The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.

Tags: Joke, Write  ✍ Author: Jimmy Carr

Whoso will pray, he must fast and be clean, And fat his soul, and make his body lean.

Tags: Body, Soul  ✍ Author: Vikram Chatwal

God, I'm just a fat bald guy, 60 years old, singing the blues, you know?

Tags: God, Old  ✍ Author: Joe Cocker

The person who should really write an appreciation of the late great Dom DeLuise is Burt Reynolds, who, even more than Mel Brooks, made of the jolly, beanie wearing fat man a side-kick and a legend.

Tags: Great, Write  ✍ Author: Rich Cohen

A steak needs fat to taste great.

Tags: Great, Needs  ✍ Author: Tom Colicchio

Imprisoned in every fat man a thin man is wildly signaling to be let out.

Tags: Thin, Wildly  ✍ Author: Cyril Connolly

I use a lot of fresh citrus, garlic, and fresh herbs when cooking to cut down on fat and sodium but punch up flavor. Our cupboards and fridge are full of condiments - mustards, vinegars, etc. that also add tons of flavor but are low in fat, calories, or other processed additives.

Tags: Cooking, Full  ✍ Author: Cat Cora

I'm learning a lot about the culture of weight loss. I didn't know there were bloggers out there who were proud to be fat.

Tags: Learning, Proud  ✍ Author: Ezra Cornell

I mean, part of me would love to be a fat tenured professor of theater someday.

Tags: Love, Mean  ✍ Author: Darren Criss

I was rather a fat little boy.

Tags: Boy, Rather  ✍ Author: Cyril Cusack

My mother-in-law's so fat that when she passes her handbag from hand to hand she throws it.

Tags: Her, She  ✍ Author: Les Dawson

Eating properly is great. I mean you cut the fat down, cut the cholesterol out, but still you got to get your rest and you got to have some form of exercise.

Tags: Great, Mean  ✍ Author: Mike Ditka

You know, either I'm too fat or I'm flavour of the month. I don't feel either, but maybe I'm both, who knows?

Tags: Both, Knows  ✍ Author: Beth Ditto

I was born fat and have always been, which was just fine and even healthy and cute until I turned ten or so. Puberty hit like a hurricane and brought a new set of rules. All of a sudden it was my fault I was chubby.

Tags: Born, Until  ✍ Author: Beth Ditto

Economic gross is making us fat.

Tags: Economic, Making  ✍ Author: Olympia Dukakis

Mine is the least fat diet in the world.

Tags: Diet, Mine  ✍ Author: Olympia Dukakis

I'd like to be taller. I'd like my baby fat to leave.

Tags: Baby, Leave  ✍ Author: Lord Dunsany

I won't rewrite on set, but I'll just trim the fat.

Tags: Rewrite, Won  ✍ Author: Sean Durkin

Pasta doesn't make you fat. How much pasta you eat makes you fat.

Tags: Eat, Makes  ✍ Author: Giada De Laurentiis

I use a lot of spices, fresh veggies and fruit, extra virgin olive oil, nuts, avocado, soybeans and organic ingredients as often as possible. We need fat in our diets and using the healthier fats is key.

Tags: Often, Possible  ✍ Author: Todd English

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